Winterbottom Family

I am "BACK!"

2011-02-20T01:12:00.001-07:00

I finally have Internet again HOORAY! So I will be able to post again. I hope you have not given up on me and still find my blog interesting. If not that's OK too, I guess I will just do this for me instead. (That is why we post any way isn't it?) Well I look forward to reading your blogs again and getting to vent on mine. Well not always vent but talk about the fun things too. I will dig up some pictures and post them soon. So great to be back!

Our Angel is "2"

2010-11-18T11:33:00.000-07:00

I am a little late getting this post up. We don't have the internet right now and so it is so hard to blog, but this post is very important to me so I had to find a way to blog. Here is what I wrote in my journal on the day of our Angel Sharyn's Birthday.

   "Here We are, the day I have been dreading for a few weeks now. The day that 2 years ago changed my life forever. November 14th 2008 Our baby girl Sharyn was born into heaven this day and it brook and changed our hearts forever!
   Ever since November was turned to, on my calender I have been so sad. (Well truthfully ever since Ambree's birthday) I find all the memory's leading up to that fateful day so vivid in my mind. First it was Halloween And I was so happy to be pregnant and then it was putting up all the thanksgiving decorations, and how fun that was, everything reminds me of her and how desperate I felt after she was gone. I find myself crying at the slightest things and can't seem to pull it together.
   Its funny how life works and how just a few days ago I was talking to another mother of an angel baby, she lost her baby boy just a week or so before I lost Sharyn and she said this year (her baby's 2nd birthday too) was very hard for her as well, much harder than her baby's first birthday. She said that she just did not have the support this year and that no one seemed to really understand her pain. I found that so sad for her and I also know what she was feeling. It's been strange this year with so many new emotions that have come up that I was not expecting. I guess I didn't expect new emotions after 2 years. But I don't know why not. I am sure there will continue to be new emotions I have not felt yet, year after year.
   I also think that maybe its been so hard this year because I was kind of caught off guard. I have been so happy for a while now with our baby girl Ambree. Not that I feel in any way that she has replaced Sharyn, but she has taken my mind off all that I am missing with Sharyn. But then it hit me this month "ALL THAT I AM MISSING!" That was it! That is what I have been so sad about, I am missing so much. I see all the fun things Ambree is doing and I wont see those things with Sharyn. It is so hard!
  I really have been dreading Sharyns birthday so I decided I needed to do something to replace the pain and heart ache with good memory's for me and my family. So I decided that we needed so new traditions for the month of November that was in honer of our Sharyn. First if felt that we needed to some sort of service to give back and to strengthen our family. I decided that this year we needed to donate blessing dresses the hospital for other mothers that have lost a baby girl. I was so grateful that someone had donated Sharyns blessing dress other wise I would not have had her in a White dress that day. I really wanted that for her and it almost did not happen. The nurses asked me if I wanted to pick out an outfit for Sharyn and since we had not expected her passing I had not bought her her blessing dress yet. I asked if they had a white dress for our angel and they went looking. One of the nurses came back after awhile and said that they had looked everywhere and could not find one. I was so sad, but just shortly after that she came back with this tiny white blessing dress that was beautiful. She thought it might not fit Sharyn because it was so small but when they brought her into us for the first time, she was waring this perfect dress. The nurses were amazed that it fit her so well. They said it was like it was made just for Sharyn.
I decided that the hospital needed more blessing dresses for other mothers that also wanted there angels girls dressed in white. So my mom and I went shopping for our dresses. We found 2 beautiful dresses that would be perfect. I also wanted to make a matching handkerchief that I could give the grieving mother. When I lost Sharyn a wonderful women in our ward came over and gave me an old antique looking handkerchief that was very special to her. She also had lost twins and had many miscarriages and was given this handkerchief as a gift to dry her tears. She said that it was a grieving handkerchief and that when I was ready and did not feel I needed it anymore that I could pass it on. I thought that was such a thoughtful gift from one grieving mother to another. So I decided that I had to give one too.

We also attached a poem to the dress...

Precious Child Remembered

We know that you are hurting
We know just how you feel.
The pain deep inside your heart
You feel it can't be real.

We know what's going through your mind,
Thoughts that cloud it through the day.
We're on the road you're traveling now.
It can be handled, there's a way.

Don't fight the tears you're feeling,
You must just let them flow.
Speak of your child daily
To many people that you know.

Find others who can understand
They'll hold you as you cry.
The questions, we have all asked,
All the how's and every why.

We will always think of our child,
No one will have to say a word.
They will remain in our hearts
Our precious child remembered.
(Unknown)

And then I added my story. It was so heeling to do this for another mother going through what I went through 2 short years ago and I hope that I lessen the sorrow in some mothers heart.

They loved the dresses and thanked us for the gift!

After we took flowers and balloons to Sharyns grave. We wrote messages on the balloons telling Sharyn how much we loved her.

Ryanne wanted to add kisses to all the balloons. She is so cute!

My sister Sharon came to the grave also

My mom and dad were also there. It meant so much to me that they came to celebrate out little girl.

We sang Happy Birthday, that made me teary-eyed!

We decorated the table in purple, light green and pink, and the same balloons and flowers we put on her grieve.
I loved it!

Here cake had a fairy and lady bugs on it, Because she is our lady bug.

It ended up to be a wonderful day and I hope that as we continue to do good things in honer of our baby Sharyn that November will become a happy month and something I look forward too.
I love you and miss you so much Sharyn! I am grateful for you and all the lessons I have learned these past 2 years. I have learned how precious our family is and how special each one of you are. I have learned to be present in every moment, not to take for granted anything. And to really on the Lord for comfort. I know I will get to see you again and I will see you grow and experience all that you can be. I love you so much!
Happy Birthday Sharyn! (our guardian angel)

Our Ambree is "1"

2010-11-02T12:40:00.023-06:00

I can't believe it Ambree is 1 years old now!

I was looking back at all the fun things we did this past year and how life was even more special that Ambree was apart of our family. She has grown so much, she was so small and helpless and now she is 18lbs and into everything! I love it!

(Ambree is only 3 weeks old in these photos)

I love her so much and she brings such joy to our family.

I decided to go BIG for her first birthday. I never got the chance with the other kids so this was my chance to do it the way I wanted. I wanted a Halloween theme (from now on I wont get a say on how her party will be, she'll want princes or something girly, not Halloween) I also wanted it to still be cute. I decided to go Skullanimals. I think they are so cute and perfect for a Halloween one year old party.

The sign reads "Ambree's 1 be very afraid"

I also decorated everything in hot pink, Orange and black. I think it turned out very cute!

we had soap and pumpkin bread bowls, Yum!

We invited about 40 friends and family over for soup and cake.

We had lots and lots of fun and I got some really cute pictures too!

We also took some balloons over to Sharyns grave to include all of our family in the party. (I love you and miss you so much Sharyn)

And we had to take some to my Grandpa Bills Grave too because he loved the holidays

I am so happy with the way the day turned out and I loved every minuet of it.(it was a lot of work too so I am glad its over as well ;)

I think she had fun too!

I love you so much Ambree and can't wait to see what you do next. You are such a blessing to our family!

Our Crazy Summer!

2010-09-06T14:25:00.005-06:00

It has been foreverrr.. since I have posted. Every time I run into someone I here how they wish I would write something new on my blog. So here we go, but I am warning you it is a very long post (because as you already know it has been forever since I have posted) so make sure the kiddies are doing something to keep themselves busy and out of trouble, because you will be here for awhile!

Well were to start. I have to say this is by far one of the most memorable summers I have ever had. I will never forget it. It was a wonderful summer and a very tragic summer all rolled up in one. Let me explain.

First off, we started this summer with a bang. We took our family on one of my most favorite vacations that I have ever been on with them. This May, Dan and I decided to take the kids on a cruise. (And I am telling you if you want to go on a WONDERFUL family vacation take your family on a cruise.) It was Amazing! But we also decided that a cruise was just not enough! We also went to Disneyland before we set sail. That of course was icing on the cake. Noah and Ryanne still talk about how this trip was the best trip we have ever been on. We Had lots of fun in Disneyland and even wore matching shirts (I forgot to take a picture of all of us together. Bummer!)

and that made Disneyland all the more fun. Then we set sail to the Mexican Rivera, on one of Royal Caribbean biggest ships the 'Mariner of the sea'. (And I mean it was huge!)

They had Ice skating (that was one of Dan and the kids favorite activities on the boat),

swimming, scrapbooking (That was lots of fun!)

and even a club house area that our kids got to meet other kids and do fun activities. Every time we would go pick them up from the club house, to spend some family time together they would be upset, because we were interrupting some fun activity. Noah loved it and would ask "Can I go to school now?" (that is what he called it)
The shore excursions were even more fun. We swam with dolphins in Puerto Vallarta,

and went on a pirate ship and went snorkeling in Cabo San Lucas. (that was my favorite excretion)

and in Mazatlan went to a privet beach were they had lots of activities like boogie boarding and horse back riding. It was lots of fun.

The trip was a trip of a lifetime and something my family will never forget.

After we got home we had birthday after birthday to celebrate. First was Ryanne's birthday on July 1st. She is now a big 11 years old and I can't believe it! we had a swimming party (like we always seem to do, because my mom and dad have a great pool to use, and it,s FREE!!!)

She had a great birthday! I just love her so much! She is such a great helper and loves life. She is Beautiful!

Next was Noah's Birthday on the 24th of July he is now 9 years old. I can't believe how handsome he is getting. He wanted to go to the parade. (We have never been to the Pioneer day parade because we always do what Noah wants for his birthday) So this year we went and well it was just ok. It was hot and we were right in the sun. (We ended up leaving early but that was ok with Noah, I think he was a little board)

then we had another swimming party. It was nice. We also had a firework show and of course Noah loved that. It was lots of fun. He is getting so big and is such a sweet boy. He is so loving and kind and such a great big brother!

And then it was Austin's turn to have his birthday on Aug 12th. He is now 6 years old and such a fun guy. He loves his baby sister and will talk your ear off if you will just sit and listen. He loves life and is such a great boy! This time instead of a swimming party we went camping.

That was fun because we went with some good friends of ours, The Hatch family and that was lots of fun. We camped at Plymouth Hot springs and I had never been there. It was fun to go somewhere new and spend time with family and friends. We also took a day trip up to Bear Lake and played on the water. That was my favorite part of the trip.

I love Bear Lake and I love my Austin!

Also Dan and I just celebrated our 12th Anniversary.

I love that guy and wonder how life would be with out him. He is such a great dad and loves our kids so much. If you run into him at work or at church he will whip out his pocket full of pictures and brag about how cute his kids are. It is so cute! I love it. He also treats me like a princes and takes such good care of me. He is always thinking about me and how he makes me fill. My dad hates that sometimes, because he makes him look bad. Dan is always bringing me flowers and gifts and my Mom complains that Dad needs to fallow Dan's example. He is such a hard worker and loves his job. He loves taking care of his little family. I just had to let Dan know that I love him so much and am so glad that I said "Yes!" 12 years ago. Love you forever Dan.

Now we get to the not so great part of my summer and the other part that I will never forget. We lost my Grandpa Bill to complications of Alzheimer's this summer.
It was kind of unexpected but not at the same time. He had been going down hill for awhile but we thought he would be here at least until Christmas. but that is not what was in Gods plan. He woke up one morning and spent his morning having breakfast with his sweetheart, Grandma Bernice and then started not filling so good and by the afternoon he had past away, holding her hand. I had the privilege of being their by his side when he passed and I am so grateful that I was blessed to spend his last moments with him. He was a Wonderful man and was loved by many. He was the life of the party and loved Christmas very much. He got my family addicted to vacationing and even had a saying to go with it. He would always say "You can't take 'things' with you when you die. All you can take with you is your memories, so make the best of them and spend it with your family!" And he lived by that modo. He traveled all over the world, he said that he had visited every country exapt for Red China and Russia. He loved my Grandma Bernice very very much and took good care of her. My Grandma counted in one day how many times he said he loved her, and it was over 100 times. And he made sure that you were being treated right by your spouse. He would always ask Dan how he was treating me and making sure he was a good husband and dad. He also love Heavenly Father very much and served as a bishop for many years. They use to call him the hugging Bishop because you could not get by him with out a hug. One thing I will miss is on our weekly visits he would say the most beautiful heart felt prayers, even with his Alzheimer's you would never know that he had a memory problem because they were perfect. I could go on and on about all the wonderful things that my Grandpa did.

I am so grateful that I was able to spend so much time with him these past few years and I can't wait to be reunited with him again. I know that he is watching over us with our Sharyn. And it is now Sharyns turn to have grandpa Bill kisses and hugs, and to be able to spend time with him, and that makes me so happy. I love you Grandpa Bill and I will miss you very much!

We also had another tragedy just over a week ago. I just came back from one of the most devastating events in my family. My cousin Amy's husband Kyle was killed just over a week ago, and we got back a few days ago from his funeral.

Amy and Kyle are so young and have 2 beautiful children. Maggy, 2 yr. old and Joshua 2 months old.

Kyle was stabbed to death by a man that was upset he was loosing a pool game. They still have not caught the guy who did this. Amy is only 21 yrs. old and is now a widow with two small children. The night we got the call from my aunt Kathy I thought that my Grandma Thora (who is living with them) had past away. But we were shocked to here that it was Kyle instead. It is so deviating to have news like this when he was so young and so full of life. The funeral was beautiful and they did some wonderful things. Amy and Kyle lived on a large pice of property in Colorado so it was fitting to have him buried there. His dad, brothers and friends dug his grave and set the vault and we were there to help berry him. I don't know what it is but it was wonderful to do this last act of kindness for your loved one. I wish we could have done this for Sharyn, to dig her resting place and physically place her there. It was kind of hilling in some sort of way. You could see pride in Kyle's fathers eyes when they were done. To work so hard for your loved one. I am so upset and can't help crying for Amy. I can't emagen what it would be like for her, to not have your husband and have such small children. I also fill so bad for her kids. They wont really know there dad. I am sure Amy will talk about Kyle all the time so they can remember there father, but it wont fill the hole in there hearts. I am so sorry Amy for your loss and I want you to know that you are in our prayers.

I know Heavenly Father loves you and your family and he is watching over you. And I know Kyle is being taken care. My heart aches of you, and I know there is nothing I can say to make this time easier, but all I can say is I love you, and You are in our prayers.

So as I have said before this summer has been the most wonderful summer and the most tragic I have ever had. I will never forget the summer of 2010 and I don't want to forget it. It makes me appreciate my family even more and make each moment I spend with them even more precious.

I love my family and am so grateful for them. They are such a blessing.

This week she had lots of Firsts!

2010-05-02T11:31:00.003-06:00

This week Ambree has had lots of firsts.

~She rolled from back to her belly for the first time.

~She found her feet for the first time.

~She ate real food for the first time and LOVED IT!

~She sat up by herself for the first time. She is getting so big!

and last but not least ~She got her first tooth!

So yesterday my mom was babysitting her and when I came back to pick her up she told me the big news. Ambree had her first tooth. I can't beleave that she is getting so big. She is now 6 months old and growing bigger each day. It feels like she has been with us for such a short time and at the same time she feels like she has always been apart of our family. I love this little darilng and love seeing her learn and grow right befor our eyes! She is getting so BIG!

Our Forever Family

2010-04-29T11:38:00.003-06:00

I am so exited about our new pictures we just had done, they have been something I have wanted to do for such a long time and I think they turned out amazing. Amy is so talented and she captured the vision I had in mind. I found out about Amy through my friend April's blog. Amy is her sister and takes such cute pictures of Aprils kids. I have wanted her to take some of my family for awhile now and when I found out she was having a spring promotion I had to do it. You have to check out her photo blog HERE she dose such great work!

I have wanted to have my family in front of the temple, dressed all in white for so long. I was planing on getting them done with baby Sharyn in her blessing dress and was so so sad that it never happened. I miss Sharyn so much and wanted to have these picture taken even more now. I can't wait to have these pictures hanging on my wall, to help remind me that we will see Sharyn again and that we are a family forever.

I love the Ogden temple and wanted to capture it the way it is now before the remodel.

That night was so amazing! I was teary when I saw my family dressed all in white looking so angelic, and holding a picture of there baby sister. I felt the spirt so strongly and knew that sharyn was with us at that moment and that Heavenly Father loves us and wants us together again. One thing I have discovered is how wonderful and precious my children truly are. I took for-granted the amazing people that they were and how they are such a gift form our Heavenly Father. I hate that it took losing someone I love so much, for me to recognize this but I am grateful that I know this now. I treasure every minuet I spend with them (even the fighting, screaming and chaos. I have learned to just laugh and give them a hug) and can't wait to see our baby Sharyn once more.

I love how these pictures turned out and love my "Forever Family" so much. It was perfect!

Here are some cute pictures of our family. I love how the colors turned out and how bright everything is. I love them!

I think the boys are so so stinking handsome in this photo. I love those guys!

Ryanne and Ambree are so beautiful in this photo. It's one of my favorites.

The kids were being kind of silly that night so here are some fun pics that she got. I really do love these ones too!

Thank you so much Amy for your amazing work! You captured the vision and feeling I wanted and really made these photos a treasure. I love them!

I am so in love with our baby girl!

2010-04-05T14:09:00.002-06:00

I can't believe how big Ambree has grown. Here she is when she was only 3 days old and now in the same outfit at 5 months old. She has finely out grown of it. I remember when we put her in this cute hoody outfit the day we brought her home from the hospital and it was so big.

I am so in love with my baby girl I can't even tell you. She is such a wonderful addition to our family and brings such joy and love into our home. The kids are happier when they are around Ambree and so am I. Dan can't wait to get home and play with her and make her smile.

Here is Ambree at 6 weeks old and again at 5 months old with her elephant. I can't believe how much bigger she has gotten.

I just think it is so fun to see how much she has changed in just the few months she has been with us. I love her so so much. She is so fun!

Who has time to blog any more?

2010-04-05T13:02:00.007-06:00

Who has time to blog any more? It sure is not me. I have been so busy now that Ambree has come along that I can't seem to find time to blog. Thanks to my sister Emily making me promise to update it, I have taken the time to sit down and blog. So I am sorry it has been awhile.

First off March has been so AMASING! We have had so much fun running from here to there that the time has flone.

I will start off by telling you about our very special trip to Washington. My little Niece and Nephews were baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints a couple of weeks ago and I could not be more proud of them. It was such a special time and so much fun. Areianna is 8 years old and could hardly wait to be baptized. Levi is 10 years old and found that he really enjoyed going to church and learning about the gospel, so when the day came he really was ready to be baptized, and Lazarus is 12 years old and was so proud to not only be baptized but to also received the Aronic priesthood. The whole family traveled from Utah to see them on this very special day. Grandpa Mike baptized them and there uncle Seth comformed them. There uncle Daniel gave Laz the priesthood and grandma Louise and Grandma Junile spoke at the baptism. It was so amazing to see all the people that came and supported them. The room was so packed that they had to open the overflow to make enough room for everyone. The spirit filled the room that day and I could tell the kids felt very loved. It was perfect!

We also spent some quality time with the family during our trip. It was hilarious when we had a Saint Patrick’s Day scavenger hunt and there were more adults fallowing the kids around watching them and taking pictures, than there were kids searching for the clues. And we were even joined by the missionaries that help baptize the kids. It was a so funny and such a blast!

Thanks Emily and Miach for having us over in your home for the week we wouldn’t have missed it for the world. I am so proud of your kids and I love them so much. We love you guys!

Also this month was my Birthday and yes I am another year older. It was an ok Birthday we were so busy that we kind of just skipped over it (witch was fine with me) but we did have a birthday dinner the Sunday after. It was nice and I am exited to see what 36 feels like. I remember when I was about 8 years old and thinking that 36 were anchent. So here I am 36 and I don't feel older than about 18 or 19. Kind of strange. I'm really not that old, right?

Any way moving on....

I did have the privilege this month to help host a baby shower for two wonderful ladies, Amy and April, they have been such a blessing in my life. Amy and April have also gone through the loss of a baby and have been there and supported me when I have needed them. Amy is Alexis's mom, and April is Harrison’s mom, they are both pregnant again and are due around May. Natalie (Branson's mom) and I decide that we needed to do something for them because when we were pregnant this last October they Through Natalie and I a baby shower. Not only did they celebrate our new little girls but the honerd our babies we had lost. They had invited other moms that had also lost little ones to the shower and they displayed all our angel babies’ pictures on the fireplace mantle. It was so wonderful and thoughtful that we had to do something special for them.

Here we all are it was so much fun!

So we decide that we also wanted to invite angel moms to their shower and do something to remember their angel babies. Jamie is another mom of and angel. Her little James returned to haven just this last October and it just breaks my heart that other mothers went through such sadness. We were so glad that she came, she is such a neat gal and I am so glad to have got to know her a little better. It was so nice to have such wonderful women their to celebrate Amy and Aprils new babies on the way.

We decided to have balloons with each angel baby’s names on them and at the end of the shower we would have a balloon release. I think it turned out great.

We had a Fabulous February!

2010-02-28T13:16:00.021-07:00

We had so much fun in February, but because of all the fun I have had no time to blog. So I decided it was time to put my post out there. I am going to just fill in with some of the highlights of the month.

First off, Valentines day was so much fun. Here is some pictures that I took that I thought were cute and festive.

Here is Ambree in her Valentine shirt Grandma Dixie got her. She is so dang Cute! (of course I am not predigest at all. No not me!:)

We had a good time with the family and good eating too. Every year on Valentines day we make homemade pizza and big huge cookies that we decorate.

This year our cookies did not turn out very cute but they were very tasty.

I love my family and I am so grateful for there cute smiles in my life.

We also just got back from San Diego. One of our favorite vacation spots. This year we went just with the Girls (and the kids). All the guys had to work, so we decided to go with out them, anyway.

We had so so much fun. We swam in the ocean (Those that were crazy enough to swim. It was freezing)

And we played games and just enjoyed each others company. It was a blast. The weather was cold and drizzly but we did not care it still was lots of fun. Here are some of my favorite pics of our trip.

Ryanne was really good at riding on the body board. I was really impressed and she had a blast!

Our trip went by way to fast, but it was so nice just to get away with the girls and the kids (even though we missed the guys). I look forward to when we can go back. We had such a Blast!

He loves being a BIG BROTHER!

2010-02-10T11:47:00.007-07:00

Austin is such a sweet boy. Today I was watching him with his new baby sister Ambree and it brought tears to my eyes. He loves her so much and he can't help himself to show her.

He will be walking by and if he sees her upset he will bend down and try to make her smile.He is always concerned with how she is doing and he will tell anyone that will listen, that he is her big brother and he loves her so very much.

He was this way with our baby Sharyn before she passed away. He would always hug my belly and say (As he held up his hands as wide as they would go) "I love my baby Sharyn this much!" and "I can't wait to finely be a BIG BROTHER!" with the biggest grin on his face. He would always talk to her in my belly and dream of the day we could bring her home. When we lost Sharyn I think it hurt him the most out of all of our children. He would cry and ask "why did she have to die." Of course that would just break my heart. He did truly love her and would miss her very much. Now, every once in awhile he will cry for no reason and say "I miss my baby Sharyn" Of course that crushes me. All I can do is hug him and say "I miss her too" I would often wonder if he would be alright again, after loosing Sharyn, someone he loved so much and I still worry about him. But I see healing in his heart and joy return to his little face when he sees his new baby sister.

It is so much fun to see him glowing again, and to see the pure joy on his face when he is talking and playing with Ambree. He still misses his baby Sharyn very much. He talks about her all of the time, but now happiness has returned into his little heart. I love him so much and I am so grateful Heavenly Father has blessed us with another baby sister. All though Ambree will never replace Sharyn, she has brought such a light in our home. We still feel an hole in our family but know that one day it will be filled and we will be a complete family once again. I look forward to that time.

I now realize how important the little things are and I try not to let them slip by with out noticing them. We don't know what is around the next corner, so we need to cherish each little moment as they come! I do look forward to the time my family will be reunited and Austin can once again hug his baby Sharyn and tell her how much he loves her.

I'm so proud of her!

2010-01-29T12:14:00.006-07:00

Ryanne is such a good girl. I am so proud of her.

She always thinking of others and has been so excited to donate her hair to the Locks of Love foundation for awhile now. Locks of Love is an organization that collects hair that is at least 10 in long and has not been bleached, for girls that have gone through chemotherapy and have lost there hair or girls that have a condition that they don't grow there own hair, L.O.L. makes wigs for them out of real hair. Ryanne was inspired to donate her hair about 2 years ago when her aunt Kathy donated her hair to locks of love, and Ryanne wanted to know more. So she researched the organization and was so inspired by them that she wanted to do the same. She would ask me all of the time if she could cut her hair and give it to L.O.L. so they could make a wig for another little girl. Finally my mom and Sharon took her to get it cut. She was so excited when she got a thank you letter in the mail from L.O.L. so she decided then, she was going to do it again. She has been growing her hair out to donate it ever since and yesterday was the big day. She could hardly stand it she was so excited to do it again. We were able to donate about 11 1/2 inc. and she could not be happier.

As soon as her hair was cut she said "I'm growing it out again, so as soon as it is long enough I am donating it. I can't wait!" I am so proud of her and her caring for others. I think she did a great thing and I know that another little girl will love there new hair. I love you so much Ryanne and am so proud of you. Love Mom

Ambree's special day!

2010-01-06T19:10:00.011-07:00

January 3rd was such a wonderful day. We blessed our baby girl, Ambree Sheila Winterbottom and it was perfect. I have been looking forward to her blessing so very long and I am so grateful that her daddy was able to give her this special gift.

This day has been so important to me and I have been looking forward

to having her blessed, to have her be held by the most important men in her life and to be loved and blessed with such beautiful gifts, was so wonderful to me. I am grateful for the Priesthood and all the blessings it brings to our lives. This year I have had many blessings given to me to help strengthen me and to help me through difficult times. Through out Ambree's pregnancy I had to learn to trust in my Heavenly Father and just be patience. After we lost Sharyn I thought that I would never be truly happy again and here we are blessed with another beautiful baby girl that has brought true joy to our lives. I still feel an empty spot in my heart and there is nothing that can feel it, but I know that if I stay close to our Heavenly Father that he will help lift my spirit and make it easier. I also felt our baby Sharyn there with us that day and it was such a comfort to me. I know that she is watching over our family and smiling down on here new baby sister with love. We had so

many family and friends come it was wonderful, to share this day with us and to celebrate our baby girl.

It was perfect!

Its the most wonderful time of the year!

2009-12-28T21:52:00.011-07:00

I can't believe Christmas has come and gone. The season did not last long enough for me. I wish that Christmas was not for another week or two. But we had such great

memories and it turned out perfect.

I loved this picture of the boys:)

We spent lots of time with our family and friends and had great food. (you can tell by all the weight I put on) And this year we did something I have always wanted to do, we had matching PJ's. It was so much fun and I loved the family pictures.

I thought Dan would hate it and never where them again, but I was pleasantly surprised when he did not only love how we all matched, but they have been his favorite pajamas. I LOVE IT! My cousins surprised us with a visit in there crazy PJ's. We were shocked and laughed our heads off. It was hilarious.

One of my favorite parts of the Christmas season is the time spent baking with my Grandma Bernice.

I love her so much and love the time we spend together. We laughed and had so much fun.

And Ambree had fun too with her "Favorite Great Grandma!"

I have to admit it was a little sad as well. I have been so emotional since Ambree has come into our home. I really miss Sharyn and when I look into Ambree's eyes and see a little glimpse of her sister, it makes me miss her all the more. Its been hard To have Sharyn not here with us again this Christmas, and I am sure the Christmas's to come will always have a ting of sadness with them. We again had her stocking filled with gifts that would be put on her grave and this year I was not in a hurry to go and put them there. I did not want to see my baby's grave and see her in the cold and snow. I finely went and gave her, her gifts and just cryed.

I know that we will see her again and that gives me comfort this time of the year.

I am so looking forward to the new year and what it will bring. I am also sad to be leaving 2009 behind because of all the things that I have learned and felt. The true blessings in our lives are our family and what they are to me and how perishes there lives our to me. Also my friends and all the support they have given us this past year. What a true blessing! We love you and want to wish you a very happy new year!

Emily is comin' to town!

2009-12-13T20:35:00.013-07:00

Here is some pics of us when my sister Emily came to visit from Washington state. She came to see the baby and to visit us for Christmas, It was so nice to have her here.

We went to The Old Spaghetti Factory to celebrate Emily, Ian's and Dan's Birthday

We went to This is the Place monument after dinner and FROZE, It was really fun and we laughed a lot but it was freezing.

Happy Birthday!!!!!

2009-12-03T01:55:00.001-07:00

Dan is now 35!!!
And can't be any HAPPIER!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday to our little Angel!

2009-11-15T21:40:00.022-07:00

Yesterday was our baby Sharyn's first birthday and the day that I was not looking forward too having. I was terrified that I would not be able to keep it together and I would have a breakdown. But the day was a very special day and a day that I can look back on with fond memory's. I feel that I was able to show Sharyn how much she is loved and missed. I cried a lot but not so much that it ruined the day. I miss her very much and keep her in my heart all of the time.
My mom and I went shopping that day for a few gifts to put on Sharyn's grave and she mentioned that if Sharyn were here, she would probably be crawling and saying "Mommy" and "Daddy". I started balling in the store. I could not help it, I have avoided thinking about what she would be like right now if she were here, for that very reason. I felt my emotions on the surface and tried to hold them back. But the thought of her and what she would be like opened the flood gaits. I found it hard to get it back together. But I composed myself after a few minutes and realized that I was kidding myself on thinking that this day would come tear free.

Last year after we lost Sharyn, my mom gave me a basket of flowers for Sharyn's funeral. They were so beautiful and I loved the bear inside of it. After the flowers started wilting I did not know what to do with the basket and bear, do I put the bear on Sharyn's grave or keep it? Do I keep the basket or through it away? those were the questions I had and then my sister Sharon came up with a great idea. She suggested that I make a fall decoration out of it to honer baby Sharyn and her birthday and to also enjoy the bear and basket. So that is what we did. On Sharyn's first birthday we made a fall basket that we can put out for the month of November to enjoy and decorate for Thanksgiving and to also remember our baby Sharyn. I love it and feel it turned out perfect. What a beautiful way to have a little bit of Sharyn in our home for the holiday of Thanksgiving. I am truly thankful for her, and can't wait to finely be with her again.

We decided to through a big birthday party just like the ones I through for our other kids. We had dinner and presents and cake and Ice cream. There was a little twist when we opened the gifts. We each took turns opening one and then everyone else said why that person was so special and what they loved about them. I loved it, we find ourselves not talking nice to each other enough and not telling each other why we love them, so what a perfect opportunity to tell our family how much they mean to us and by doing this the kids truly knew that each member in our family did love and appreciate them and thought they were a wonderful addition to our family. I know that Sharyn was looking down at her family smiling, because she knows how special her brothers and sisters are and she was proud of them for recognizing how wonderful they are. We all needed that and the kids just beamed after we were all done because they did feel the love from each member of our family.

Each gift we gave our little girl had some meaning behind it. The Tinkerbell was because Grandma Louise has a Disney character figurine for each one of her grand children and when we lost baby Sharyn she decided that Tinkerbell was perfect for a little girl that never would grow up. I love Tinkerbell as well because she has wings and is so small and perfect.
Ambree gave her a stuffed elephant because as many of you know, Ambree has lots of elephant things because everyone teased me whale I was pregnant with her that I had been pregnant for two years to Finlay get a baby, and elephants are pregnant for two years. So Sharyn had to have an elephant too.
Noah gave her a Minny Mouse because we love Disneyland and she needed a little peace of Disney.
Ryanne gave her a princes crown, because she is our princes.
Austin gave her a story book because all little girls love for there mom and dad to read them a bedtime story.

After presents we went to her grave and gave the gifts to Sharyn and sang Happy Birthday. It turned out perfect!Ever since I have had Ambree I find that I now truly know what I am missing buy not having our little girl Sharyn in our home. I look at Ambree's beautiful face and see her angel sister staring back at me and me wishing that I could have her here in my arms.
We love and miss you Sharyn and look forward to the day we will be with you again. Happy Birthday from your mommy, daddy and big sister Ryanne, brothers Noah and Austin and baby sister Ambree. WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

More pictures of our sweet girl!

2009-10-28T22:23:00.009-06:00

Here are a few more pictures of our beautiful new baby girl Ambree. I have had lots of people saying they wanted me to post more, so here you go. The kids want to hold her all of the time, and love having her here. Of course I love her here as well. She is such a good baby and I am so fascinated and amazed with her. She is so beautiful and perfect I can't believe she is finely here and she is ours. I thought this day would never come and here we are, it is WONDERFUL! I could stare at her all day and I find my self never putting her down. I want to hold her all the time and never letting her go. She is such a miracle to our family. I just can't believe she is here and she is ours. Heavenly Father has truly blessed us and I want to thank everyone that has kept us in your prayers. We have felt those prayers answered and love all of you for that. Thank you again, we feel very blessed!

Ambree is HERE!!!

2009-10-23T16:49:00.004-06:00

Ambree is here!Daddy getting ready.Born at 12:56pm
20 in long
6lb 8oz.
Mommy is so Happy!!!!!!!!!!!!Ambree already has daddy rapped around her finger!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you all for the love and prayers.
Mommy and Daddy.

The Love keeps coming and comeing!

2009-10-12T09:58:00.016-06:00

We have had so many blessings and an outpouring of love from others around us lately. I can truly say that we have been blessed.
The past few weeks have been stressful emotionally, because we are getting so close to the end of this pregnancy and it makes me so nervous. I was dreading October just because last October was so fun but ended up so sad. I have tried not to repeat the events from Sharyn's pregnancy but they keep happening anyway, but with a happier outcome. My mom keeps telling me that Heavenly Father is trying to replace the bad memory's with good ones and to show me that he Loves me and is looking out for our family. I kind of think maybe she is right.
Everyone around me is so excited that we are having our new bundle of joy that an outpouring of love has been given to our family.

First: When I was pregnant with baby Sharyn my sister and good friend Sheree through me a surprise baby shower that I never got to enjoy because we lost Sharyn two days before the shower.
On the 1st of October I was surprised again with a beautiful baby shower from Some wonderful women that are also angel moms,(They also recently lost there baby's to soon, just like Sharyn) Amy(Alexis's mom) and April(Harry's mom). They through Natalie(an Angel mom of Branson) and I a baby shower for our new baby girls. It was so much fun and special all at the same time. They included our baby's we lost, by adding their pictures on the mantel and invited other moms that have also lost a little one. I loved how not only were we celebrating our new baby's but also our ones we have lost. It was kind of like getting to have Sharyn's baby shower as well as Ambree's all at the same time. I loved that, It felt so good to do this for the both of them. Amy made these fun and cute Diaper cakes that had fun things on them, like a head band and cute flower, Diapers (of coarse), ribbon, rattle, lotion and baby bottle. And April hosted it at her home. The decorations and food were so cute and great! Just to see these women and to understand each other made the night so nice and perfect. Each one of these moms are such strong wonderful women. I am so grateful that I have got to know them and that they are there when I am in need. Thank you Again Amy & April! And Natalie, I can't wait to have our new baby girls see each other and become the best of friends. Love ya!

Second: My mom and sister through me another baby shower for Ambree. It was so much fun and I can't believe how many people came to support me and our new baby. I did not realize how many friends I truly had. I was so nervous for this baby shower just because of the last time, but this time it turned out wonderful. We had great food and wonderful people their. We even used the cute diaper cake that Amy made for me (I love It). It was overwhelming on the amount of people that came to show there love and support. It truly surprised me that everyone would come just for me and our new baby. We got lots of fun gifts, Ambree is very loved! We decided to take some balloons over to Sharyn's headstone. It felt like the shower was for both Ambree and Sharyn and I wanted her headstone decorated for the day. The baby shower was so much fun. Thank you to everyone that came, It really meant allot to see you all there. I can truly say that I feel loved, and that everyone is so excited for Ambree. Thank you!

Third: This last Saturday we had another blessing. My Cousin asked if we could use some help with our basement. (We are remodeling our basement so that we have room to move the older kids downstairs, so when Ambree comes home we have a nursery for her.) The basement has consumed our summer, and we still don't have it done. The baby is coming any day now and we don't have anywhere for her to come home too. Dan is working on it when ever he is home trying to get it done, but no mater how hard he works there is still so much more to do.
Any way, My Cousin asked his Elders quorum if they wanted to do a service project? And he suggested to help us with our basement. WOW! That was truly a blessing. They came and got almost the whole basement sheet rocked and ready to start mudding in one day.
Dan has been doing this the whole summer and they were able to finish it in just ONE DAY! It was so amazing. I can't tell you how relieving it is to be getting so close to finishing this project. To be able to stretch out and feel like there is room for everyone. I could not believe how hard everyone worked and they did it for us. It was truly another blessing. Thank you Daniel and the Single Adult Student word Elders quorum For coming over and helping our family. Thank you so much!

And to top off everything: We were able to participate in a "Walk to remember" and balloon release for stillborn and infant loss, put on by Share. Oh how I needed that. I have be so excited for our baby Ambree but missing baby Sharyn so much at the same time. I have tried really hard to not replace Sharyn with Ambree and to still honer the both of them. This walk was perfect for doing just that. I got to spend the day with my family and my Angel mom friends, to celebrate our baby's we lost and to remember them. It was such a wonderful event. It was so touching and it really made me feel closer to Sharyn. I also got the opportunity to remember other baby's in our family that were gone to soon as well. My aunt Kathy's baby- Jessica, my aunt Alice's baby- Angelina, My aunt Marlins baby- Greg, and my two nephew's Enoch and Lehi. It felt so good to also recognize them because they have made a hug impact in my life. Long before I lost Sharyn, I always looked back on these baby's and have seen how hard it was for them losing these baby's and how much there moms and family's missed and loved them. How they still include them in there family's and that they still have a special place in there hearts. I never thought I would one day say "I understand how you feel" but now I do and now I truly realize how strong and amazing these women truly are. They are a true example to me. I love you and am so glad that I was able to do this little walk for your baby's. It was perfect.

So in the end this October is turning out perfect and we are defiantly feeling the prayers and and love that is coming our way. I truly feel blessed! Heavenly Father is watching over us and blessing us with the people that we are surrounded by. You are some of our greatest blessings. Thank you so much! love Sheila and Family

Up date on our baby girl!

2009-09-29T21:18:00.007-06:00

I have not written in a while about this pregnancy and how things are going. I am stopped all the time to find out how everything is and how I am doing. Things are great! I am a little paranoid but doing fine.
I go to the doc. two times a week and have a none stress test done just to make sure baby Ambree is doing good. She is doing just fine and is moving everywhere, I love that I get to see her twice a week just to check up on her and I can't wait to hold her in my arms. Dan complains all the time that I am hogging her and I wont let him hold her. LOL! I think it is so cute how exited he is to have her come in to our home. She is now about 4lbs and is still head up. Which every time I see the NST nurse she asks if I have had a c-section before, ( I have not) and then she warns me that this time I might. Honestly I really don't care, I just want to bring her home safely, that is all. I am getting so anxious to have her here I can hardly stand it, but I still have about 4 more weeks to go. CRAZY!
I steel have no where to put her bed up because we still have not moved the kids down stairs yet.
By the way if you didn't know we are also in a huge remodel, trying to convert our home from a two family home in to a one family home. My grandfather when he inherited this home he blocked the stairs and put in a second kitchen in the basement. He also put in two furriness and two water heaters in so the home is truly a duplex. So when my sister and I bought the home it worked perfectly for us because she had her space and I had mine. But now she has moved out and we are trying to make it all ours. Dan and I are now converting it into a home where we will have the whole thing. Its been lots and lots of work trying to get it done before the baby comes, it has been stressful. I can't wait until it is all done and we get to enjoy it. It has been such a crazy last couple of months that I have not had the time or energy to sit and write how I am feeling and what is going on. But I plan on doing better and hopefully life will slow down shortly.
I can't wait to have all these new and exciting events over so we can get back to some what normal.
I just wanted to fill you in a little bit and let you know why I have been absent. And yes we are doing just fine.
I also got some pregnancy pics done just this week so when they are done I will post them. I think they will turn out great. Can't wait to share.
Thank you to all of you that are concerned about our family and ask how we are doing and for keeping us in your prayers. I know with all the prayers, love and support that this baby will come home to us and be such a joy. We just wanted to say how grateful we are and Thank you for caring. It means so much to me that you have been such a suport to us and a true blessing. I just wanted to say Thanks!

best of freinds

2009-09-19T10:42:00.005-06:00

I don't know what it is about Ryanne and our cat Timberley, but they have always had this special bond since they were both little. When Ryanne was only about 18 months old we went to my Aunt Kathy's home to visit them. They had just had a litter of kittens and among the new kittens was this little black fluffy kitten named Timberley that would always fallow Ryanne around. We would go to bed and the next morning Timberley was sleeping right next to Ryanne. Every where Ryanne went there was this little black fuzzball on her heals. It was so dang cute we decided to take her home. You would think after all these years the bond they had for each other would fade. But NO! Timberley puts up with all of Ryanne's creative Ideas to humiliate this poor little cat. She dresses her up, carries her around in a blanket and comes up with all kinds of ways to play with her. And Timberley still loves her more than all others. She will still fallow her around, give her kisses and just can't get enough of Ryanne. Today Ryanne called me to come downstairs to see what she had done and here was this cradle with a cute bundle of joy in it. Yes! it was the cat, as the baby in the cradle. Poor cat, the crazy thing is that it looked like Timberley was enjoying it. I think it is so funny that this cat loves Ryanne as much as Ryanne loves her. I think they were friends before they came to this earth. They are the best of friends.

A special gift for our little girl!

2009-08-30T14:30:00.006-06:00

It is finely here. Sharyn's headstone.The other day we were at a family party and I got a text message from my sister Sharon, that had baby Sharyn's headstone on it and the caption "It's all paid for" on it. "What?" I said, I did not get it, and then I started balling. I couldn't believe it, our baby girl will finely have her headstone to honer her and so we will be able to show her how much we love her.
Dan and I only could afford to pay for half of it and we had to save up for the rest. I was stressed that it was getting so late in the summer and that we were not going to be able to get the rest paid for before the ground was too frozen to be able to set it. I was so sad that I could not go and put flowers on Sharyn's grave and just find her. I had kind of lost track of were her grave was and it really bothered me.
I guess my mom and Sharon and my Grandma Bernice decided awhile ago that they were going to surprise me and pay off the remainder balance of her headstone for us. They wanted to wait until it was placed before the told me and just take me over to her grave site to show me, but they could tell I was getting really anxious to get it paid off and that I probably could not wait that long (They were right, I was going nuts, trying to figure out how we were going to pay off the rest) So after Sharon, my mom and Grandma payed it off they sent me the e-mail. They just had got back, and so they saw my reaction, I balled and balled. They got the reaction that they had expected. Everyone at the party was shocked that I was crying and asked what was wrong. I told them what they had done and so all of us were teary eyed.
I am so so so happy I can't even tell you. I called my grandma and told her how much it meant to me and balled again on the Phone. I just can't even tell them how much this truly meant to me and my family.
The other day we went and put flowers on her new little headstone and showed the kids it. They loved it and were so exited to finely see it. We are so happy!I just wanted to say again, THANK YOU! I love you Mom, Sharon and Grandma. I think this was the most special gift that you could give our little family and it will always mean the world to us. We love you!
And we love you so much Sharyn, I can't wait to hold you in my arms and give you a little kiss.
Love, Mommy!

Austin "You are getting so BIG!"

2009-08-25T13:35:00.006-06:00

We finished the summer with our last birthday. Austin just turned a BIG 5 years old, and he is so happy to be a year older. It has been hard for him to see his brother and sister have there birthdays before him and he still had to wait for his. I was going through some of his baby pics and found these. Isn't he so dang cute? I cant believe how fast he has grown up.Austin is such a fun boy, and I mean "all boy." He loves anything that has to do with engines, like cars, trucks, airplanes, etc. Anything that he can make noises with or drive, is his thing. He also loves "Eggo go" (Go Diego Go). He is always busy and talks your ear off. He loves his big brother and wants to do everything he is doing (Of course he is as big as Noah in his mind) and can't wait to be as big as him. He loves to wrestle and ruff house. He also is such a big helper, and every time I need him to help around the house he is right there saying "Can I help?"

We had so much fun on his big day. My Aunt told me about this fun splash pad behind Ogden Athletic Club. It was so fun (and it was free:) the kids loved it and it made Austins Birthday even more special. After we came home and made cupcakes (Austin was so exited to help make his own cupcakes, he loved liking the bowl) We went up to Grandma Louise's house and did a little more swimming, ate good food and opened presents. It was such a fun day and I think Austin will remember his 5Th birthday for a long time.
I love you so much My little "Stitch" Austin.

What am I suppose to learn from all of this?

2009-08-11T16:03:00.005-06:00

"What am I suppose to learn from all of this?" This is my new question that I ask Heavenly Father these days. Not that I don't trust him, but what am I suppose to be learning from all that is happening lately.
"Why you ask?" "Why am I asking these questions?" Well this pregnancy has been a crazy roller coaster and also my life has been as well. These past few months have been so so uncomfortable. We have made some scary, but great changes in our living situation, and that has me all kinds of uncomfortable. We have recently bought our home, that we have been sharing with my sister Sharon. That sounds like a good thing right? Well it is a great thing but we were just not quite ready to take on the house payments all on our own. We still needed a few years to get some bills paid off. But Sharon has been out of work for a long time and has gone back to school. She just doesn't have the money anymore to stay here with us, so she is moving home. We had two choices, refinance our home or sell it. We were able to refinance it so it is now in our budget. Great! right? well it is great but now we have to put the stars in and take the kitchen out in the basement so we can make room for the boys to be downstairs and all this has to be done before the new baby comes, which is stressing me out. Like I don't have enough to stress about. I am looking forward to having the house to our selves, but I also am going to miss Sharon around and all she does to help our family out. We will miss you lots and lots Sharon!
Now on to this pregnancy. I can't tell you how I am such a basket case with this pregnancy. First I found out we were pregnant again. Which was wonderful and scary news. It was such a miracle, because with all my other children we had to have help or tried for several years. And this baby came as a surprise. Then in just the first few months I started bleeding. That was so scary! I thought "I can't do this again". Every thing ended up OK but it put me in a tense mood with this baby. I had such mixed emotions. If this baby was a boy, I was going to be so mad. Not that I would not love another boy, but that I didn't have a baby girl for Ryanne. She was so exited to have a baby sister and to not have one was so sad. Than we found out that we were having a little girl. And my emotions went crazy again. What! A girl! I was shocked I was convinced that I was having a boy. Now I was even more terrified. NO! I was not going to get attached to this baby until she was here. Ya right! I love this little girl so much already. So everyone was asking what are you going to name her? I did not want to name her yet, because than I would love her even more. But my kids would talk about her all of the time and wanted to know what to call her. Finely Dan and I decided. Her name is "Ambree Sheila Winterbottom" actually it felt so good to finely giver her a name. She deserves having us name her and for us to be existed for her.
Now she has a name and we love her so much, what am I going to do if something goes wrong? So about a week ago I find out that I have Gestational Diabetes. Great! Isn't this pregnancy hard enough? I am only 26 weeks and I already fill like I am 35 weeks along. My hips hurt and I can't sleep at night. What am I going to do now? So they gave me a new diet to fallow (Which has not been that bad) and all seems to be going well, until I notice that Baby Ambree is not moving as much as she has been before. Do I call the doc. and bug him? Am I just being paranoid? So I decide to call the doc. just to make sure everything is going OK. And everything is going just fine. The baby is just under detox (I guess that is how you would describe it) She has had lots of sugar because of my diabetes, so she is just coming off of all of that. She is just a little sleepy lately. Today I finely fill her moving a lot more than I have in awhile, so that makes me fill a hole lot better.
Any way basically I am a nervous wreck all the time and can't really seem to enjoy this pregnancy at all. I just want Ambree here so bad I can hardly stand it and it tortures me to think I have 2 months to go. I hope I can be strong (Well I know that I can be strong, maybe just not happy about it) I just need to thank Heavenly Father for the blessings that I have, and ask again "What am I suppose to learn from all of this so it dose not happen again". Maybe it is to be patient, and maybe it is to trust in Him. What ever it is, I hope I learn it fast so that I can be sane again. I am ready to be back to normal.
Sorry about the venting just needed to get it out.

Big Day!

2009-08-11T15:21:00.008-06:00

It is a little late but I had to write on how I am so proud of my son, Noah.
On August the 1st, Noah was baptized a member of the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints, and I am so happy for him. He was beaming all day, and could not wait to be baptized. He loved having all his friends and family there to support him in this great step in life.
The day went just perfect! Before we left for the church Noah opened a gift from Dan and I, to help him remember this special day. We gave him a baptism towel and a tie tack that he could ware to remember the promises that he made. He loved it and wanted to were the tie tack all day.
I love this picture of my two guys all dressed in white. They looked so handsome.
And this is Noah in his new suit, Wow! he looked so sharp. His grandpa Mike gave a talk about receiving the Holy Ghost. He gave Noah a little white box to help him remember that the Holy Ghost was a wonderful "gift" given to us by our Heavenly Father. Thanks Grandpa, you gave such a great talk it was perfect.
The day was wonderful, and I just wanted to say how proud I am of you Noah. I love you and am so glad that you have made such great choice and I know that Our Heavenly Father is so proud of you and he loves you very much.
I LOVE YOU NOAH!

It's Great to be 8!

2009-07-23T20:51:00.005-06:00

Noah turns 8 tomorrow, and I can't believe it. He is my little guy, and I don't want him to ever grow up. He is so sweet and loving, its hard to see him get so big.
He loves everything Starwars and would love to be a jedi. He also wants to be a spy when he grows up, or he wants to be a brake dancer. So in other words he wants to be a break dancing spy. He also loves everything that has to do with sharks and stingrays. He will read every book he can find on them. 2 years ago we went to Sea World and he asked the pore lady at the stingray exhibit, every thing he could think of about stingrays. One of his favorite things he loves to ask people is "Stingrays are slimy, do you know why? Because they have boogers all over there bodies." It is so fun to see him get so exited about learning.
We always do a great big party for our kids 8th birthday, because it is such a special birthday. But since his birthday is on the 24th of July, it makes it hard to have Friend's over, so we had his big party on Sat the 18th. We had such a blast! He invited lots of boys over for a fun swim party at Grandma Louise's house. The theme of the party was sharks and stingrays. (Surprise! Surprise!) It took lots of looking to find shark decorations but it turned out just perfect.
We had a shark pinata

I want to thank all the boys that came and for the wonderful gifts they brought.

Now on to our Noah and his baptism. He is so exited to be baptized next week. I would have to say that I couldn't be more proud of him. He had his Bishop interview a few weeks ago and when he came out of his office he was beaming. He was caring his white outfit and was so exited to try it on when we got home. It was so cute. I asked him if he knew what being baptized meant and he told me that "It is fallowing Jesus and making good choices." He also said that "He would be perfect." I think he thought that was pretty cool. I also asked him what dose being conformed mean. "It means that I will have the holy Ghost. And he is Jesus's helper." I loved his answers they were so simple but sweet. He is such a wonderful son and I love him so much. when I think about him being baptized it makes me cry. I am so proud of him and his choices and can't wait for that day.
Noah, you are so special, and loving. You make me laugh, with your funny story's and interesting ways to look at life. You make our family so much more fun, with your smile and laughter and you are such a great brother and son. I am so proud of you and can't wait for you to be 8! I love you very much.

It's been a long time!

2009-07-12T11:09:00.019-06:00

I am sorry but I have not been able to wright on my blog for a few weeks. I have not had the Internet for some time and have been itching to wright my thoughts, but couldn't get logged on. So we had lots of things happening these last few weeks and I am going to just do an update today.

First off I want to talk about my beautiful girl Ryanne. She is getting so big and she just had her 10Th birthday. WOW! I cant believe that I am a mom of a 10 year old. Crazy!Ryanne is such a beautiful person inside and out. She helps me all the time, if I were to ask her to come help with dinner she would say "OK mom!" and stop what she is doing and help. I could not ask for a more perfect daughter. She loves that she is getting taller and her goal is to be taller that her Dadda. (She has called her dad that ever since she could talk. And between you and me, I think she probably will get taller than him. But of course that is not hard when you are only 5 foot 5. Poor Dan!) She loves to paint and draw and loves anything creative. She also is a very good knitter (She did not learn it from me. I could never figure knitting out) She is always finding new ways to get her creativity out. She is very talented. She also a very good sales women, if any of you drive by our house during the summer time you will see Ryanne standing out front of our home trying to sale some sort of thing. She loves money and saving money. She says her goal for when she grows up is to be a millionaire. I believe she really could be. here are a few pics of her growing up. I love you Ryanne!
She had a nice Birthday with the family and I think she really enjoyed the presents. Can you tale she LOVED her birthday outfit. (She is such a modal) All in all I think she likes being 10 and looks forward for the year.

THE 4TH OF JULY
Moving on. Also the past week we went to Washington State to visit my Sisters family. We have visited them the past few years on the 4Th of July because they have the BEST fireworks there. You don't have the limitations that you have in Utah. So not only do we get to see the fireworks but we get to spend time with their family. I love this tradition and this year was so much fun. We had a big Bar-B-Q with the all of the family, and had s'mores after (Its not the 4th with out s'mores)
We all decided to pose for pics and we ended up being goofy. Here some of our silly poses.
Aren't Dan and I so cute? LOL! This is Dan trying to be sexy, and I am trying to get away from him. HELP!
Fireworks in Washington, you are aloud to shoot them up in the air. So last year we thought we would try some of them and found out quickly that it was hard to watch them because of all of the fall out that gets in your eyes. So this year we were prepared. Emily provided safety goggles. Aren't we such a cool bunch?
Thanks Emily and Micah for the great time! We miss you guys already! love ya.

So excited to be a big brother!

2009-06-23T11:13:00.006-06:00

We had such fun yesterday, when my good friend Sheree let us babysit her new little girl Elle. Austin was so fascinated with her. He would sit right next to me when I was holding Elle and he would talk to her and kiss her. He also wanted to try to feed her, and he loved doing that. I could tell he was really excited to have a new baby in our home.
He would smile and then all of a sudden look sad and say "Mommy, baby Elle is alive and our baby is not. But I still love our baby Sharyn. But I like to play with baby Elle too." I thought that he was so sweat, that he loved and missed his baby sister, and still was happy to play with Elle.
It was so funny to she him try to play with the baby. He went and got a tiny car to put in her hand and when she did not take it he said "Let me show you how to play with it." And he preceded to show her how to drive the car around and make car noises. LOL! It was so dang cute. Then I suggested that he get a baby toy that plays music, and he sat down by her and would pule the string so the music would play. You could tell she really liked it and Austin was so proud of him self that he made her happy.
I can't wait to see him with his new little sister, and how he will take great care of her and cherish her.

2009-06-11T17:28:00.012-06:00

I can't believe it. I am really having another baby girl. I am so exited and terrified all at the same time. I just can't wait until she comes in Nov. I'm so happy!

Are we done yet?

2009-06-04T14:29:00.008-06:00

I am sorry I have not written in a while, expectantly about my feelings of being pregnant again, and my baby girl Sharyn. I think about her all the time but It has been hard for me to wright about her lately. My emotions are is such turmoil all the time that it is hard to pin down and write what I am truly filling.
I think I am not trying to think about being pregnant and the possibility's of what could happen. I just am pretending that things are normal just so I can bare the wait and make it through these long hard months.
I am so nerves all the time with this pregnancy. I am fine if I don't think about it, but as soon as the subject comes up, I can't help but to be nerves. I am having lots of mixed fillings about this baby. Like what if something goes wrong? What if its a boy, how will I feel? What if it is a girl how will I feel? So on and so forth.
I am so so exited to have November here and everything be all right. I just want this pregnancy over with and a new healthy baby In my arms.
The other day I saw my doctor for my regular appointment and he had a hard time finding the baby's heart beet. I was terrified. What if something goes wrong? How will I be able to handle this all over again? I don't think I could. Finlay he found the baby and the baby was just fine. The baby is just really high in my belly and it is hard to find the heart beet. The baby is just under my belly button.
I also am so nerves to find out what I am having. I don't think I really want to know, because I know that If I am having a boy I will be disappointed. I know that I would love him so much, but I would be sad to not have a baby sister for Ryanne to play with. To be able to see her as a great big sister to her baby sister. She was so happy to be having Sharyn, a baby girl to play with. She was trilled to be able to teach her all about being a little girly girl, and to have someone to dress up and do her hair. I also will miss all the fun of buying girly things that I did not do with Ryanne when she was little. But I just keep telling myself that what ever we are having, it is a blessing and that I should be grateful. And I am grateful, I just am ready to move on to the next step of this pregnancy.
My big ultrasound is in just a week on the 11th and I am scared to death. What if there is something wrong with the baby? I would just die. Any way I am just going crazy, and can't wait until all of this is over and my baby is safe in my arms. We only have a 160 days to go. Yug! I am so looking forward to that day. I can't wait!

Just a little note to our baby girl, Sharyn: I love you and miss you so much Sharyn and can't wait to be with you again. I hope you don't think I have forgotten you even though we are having a new little one. You will always be my 4th child and hold a special place in my heart. You will never be forgotten! I think about you every moment and want you to know the deep love I have for you, that your daddy and brothers and sister have for you. We all miss you and can't wait to see you again! We Love you Our beautiful little girl, Sharyn!

Alaska was perfect!

2009-05-18T15:49:00.012-06:00

We had lots and lots of fun. We left for Washington state, on May 7th and just got home yesterday, around 9:oo pm Sunday the 17th. It was amazing. We decided to take a cruise to relax and get away from it all.
I love Alaska, this was our second time going and I think it was even more fun. We first went and visited family in Washington (state) and caught the cruise out of Vancouver Canada a few days later. This is Dan being funny! When you first get on the ship you have to attend muster. (A muster drill is when you have to were these ridiculous life jackets and stand in the heat, under your life boat, to practice a drill, encase the ship sinks)We had our call to get ready to attend our muster station, and Dan found our life jackets above the closet. instead of only 2 adult size jackets there was three, and it happened to be a child size. Dan started to Laugh He said " Hay look Sheila they are even taking care of the baby." So he thought it would be funny to take a picture of the small one in front of my belly. LOL!We first cruised to Juneau Alaska and had a great experience on our one privet whale watching adventure. We saw Humpback whales, mom and baby Humpbacks and even a pod of Orka whales (Orka whales are rare to see this time of year in Alaska)Then we cursed over to Skagway Alaska. Dan went salmon fishing, and we (my mom, Sharon, Ian and I) went dog sledding. That was a blast. We also saw 2 black bear that day as well. My aunt Janel and uncle Steve also came with us on the cruise.We sailed through Tracy arm (I wouldn't know, because Dan and I slept in that morning and did not see a thing) and saw Glaciers, so they they tell us. LOL!
Next was Ketchikan Alaska, and that is were we went to a Saxman tribal dance, and the Totem village. That was neat to see the Totem poles and find out a little about the history behind them. I also loved the dance they did when we arrived there. They had little tiny kids dancing along with there parents, all in costume and that was fun.
We also, that day went to a Lumber Jack show. Talk about dangerous and exiting. Wow! the skills those guys have was pretty amazing. If you have not been to a Lumber Jack show, you need to go, it was very entertaining. And of course we can't leave out all the shopping. It was a blast! I all most left out that the weather was perfect. The sun was out almost the hole trip (witch is unusual for Alaska) and we even brought it with us to Washington. PERFECT! All and all it was a perfect vacation (other than I really missed my kids wail I was gone. They stayed with Dan's parents. And of course Grandma and Grandpa was more fun, so they did not miss me at all. LOL!) We were able to visit my sister and her family and spend the tail end of our trip with them, witch was one of my favorite parts of the hole thing. I am glad to be home but am already planing our next Cruse:)

To Cora, Happy Birthday

2009-05-03T14:46:00.003-06:00

I also wanted to post this little graphic in remembrance of little
Cora who returned to Heaven 3 years ago today.
Happy Birthday
Cora!

Love The Winterbottom's

Yes! its positive

2009-04-23T10:44:00.005-06:00

Yes its positive I am having another baby. I am terrified! I am also very happy too.
In February, I was not feeling right and just had a feeling there was something different. I didn't think I was pregnant because I had just had Sharyn in November and my body was not back to normal yet. ( also, there was no way I could be pregnant because it took me 2 1/2 years to get pregnant with baby Sharyn, and 2 years with Austin) I was having surgery ( carpel tunnel surgery, on my left hand) and so I took a pregnancy test just to make sure. It came back negative. So I went through the surgery with out a hitch. I was feeling so much better but still had not started my period. I was thinking maybe because I was getting older my body was freaking out. Dan kept insisting I was pregnant. So he got me a test. I kept putting it off, for about a week finely Dan could not wait any longer. This time the test came back positive. I started to cry, not because I was happy (even though I was) but because I was terrified. I just had surgery and I didn't want to go though another loss, or something wrong with the baby. (I found out that everything they had given me with my surgery would not harm the baby, so that was a relief). But I still had to go to my first appointment. I was so nerves. (You realize I had just had Sharyn only 3 months before I became pregnant. CRAZY!) I had so many dreams that I would go into the office and the ultrasound would not find a baby, just a placenta and no baby. So the dreaded day came and my Doctor COULD NOT FIND THE BABY. I was a mess is was shaking and started getting really frustrated at my doctor. Why could he not find the baby and why was he not saying anything. I yelled at him in frustration, "What are you seeing, or not seeing!" he was relaxed and told me everything was OK, not to worry. I was going to worry it was playing out just like my dreams. Finlay he said he was going to try something different, and decided to try an external ultrasound. FINELY! he found the baby. Just under my belly button. Weird place but normal for me. The baby was hiding high in my pelvis. What a relief. My doctor talked to me for a long time about how things will be different this time and that I will be watched very carefully, and he would do his best at making sure that I brought home a healthy baby this time. I felt a little better. So now we just have to wait. I think that I will go nuts before this baby gets here. I don't know if I can wait again. I already did this not to long ago and I have to start over again. It is killing me but I hope that this time will be a happy experience and that we will have a beautiful healthy baby.
Buy the way, Sharon and my mom tease me that I am an Elephant! Nice hu? Really they are not trying to be mean. They are just referring to how long I will be pregnant, before I bring home a baby. Elephants as you know, are pregnant for 2 years. So Sharon and my mom tease me that I will be pregnant for the same length of time as an Elephant. Sharon has all ready bought the new baby a present, a Dumbo baby stuffed animal. So I had to put it in the picture.

Happy Easter! (Better late than never)

2009-04-19T12:00:00.007-06:00

This post is a little late, but better late than never. We had lots and lots of fun, and I wanted to share our day with you. Here are the kids battling a string maze that leads to there Easter baskets. The Easter bunny even brought Baby Sharyn a few little things.

Ready for summer!

2009-04-02T15:34:00.003-06:00

I am so tired of the cold whether. I want to finely go out side with out a jacket, and to be in the sunshine. I think I am having cabin fever today, and can't stand it any more. Today I went all day in my flip flops just to show the weather that it has not got the best of me. (Not the most beautiful feet, but they are mine) I can't wait to be able to put my patio furniture out on the porch and have dinner outside. I also can't wait to have the weather worm enough to go swimming and play with the kids out side, with out freezing to death. So "rain(snow) rain(snow) go away, don't come back til' another day."

Another Year older!

2009-03-18T15:46:00.010-06:00

So the 17Th was my birthday, and I feel like I am getting OLD! But I still fill young. I remember when my mom turned my age ( I'm not going to tell you how old I am, you can't make me! If I don't tell than I can still deny it! OK, OK! I'm 35, yuk!) I thought she was an old lady. And so here I am and old lady. We made sure we did all we could to make this year special. We (Sharon, my twin sister and I) decided to do something different this year and calibrate our birthday on a different day than St. Patrick's day. We always have our birthday overtake the holiday, so it was fun to do a green party also. Saturday was our unbirthday and it was fun. We went to breakfast and got a pedicure, and that still was not enough, so we went to dinner and to the movies. It was lots of fun. I have been struggling with my birthday because of lots of things, and wanted to just have fun. When the 17Th rolled around we decided to party again, and have a green St. Patrick's day party. We had a fun scavenger hunt and a green dinner (Disgusting!). The kids had a blast and so did I. I felt really loved this year, normally my birthday comes and goes with a few "HAPPY BIRTHDAY'S" from family, but this year almost every one I know called or came over to wish Sharon and I a happy birthday. I felt really loved and want to let everyone know that I really needed it. With all the craziness going on it really lifted my spirit. I have great friends and family! Thanks, you made this Birthday a great one!

Yes, I'm back!

2009-03-08T14:58:00.010-06:00

It has been awhile since I have written my thoughts down. Its not because I have not wanted to but because life has been crazy! The past few weeks lots of things has gone on. As many of you have heard, my Grandma passed away on the 23rd of Feb. And so there was lots of things to do. We had family traveling from other states, to be here for the funeral and viewing. So I had to get prepared for them to stay with us. We had the pleasure of having my Aunt Kathy and her daughter (my cousin) Amy stay with us. Amy also brought her baby, Maggie and her niece, Aleah with her. It was so fun to have a Amy's baby girl in our home, to be able to hold her and love her. Ryanne really enjoyed Aleah. She loved dressing her up and doing her makeup. Also helping her work on crafts and teaching her how to paint. It was wonderful to see Kathy and Amy and to spend quality time talking with them.
The funeral and viewing went well, and it was great to see family that we have not seen for a long time. I was able to spend some time with my uncle Allen and talk with him. And also see my uncle Mark and Aunt Alice. We also were able to see and talked to other family members we have not seen, or talk to in awhile and missed very much. I was given a rose, from my Grandmas funeral, to put on Sharyn's grave. It was nice, and made the day even more meaningful.
And wail I was having to run here and there for funeral plans, my kids still wanted there hair done for "Crazy hair day" at school. They loved having there hair crazy and I had fun doing it.
I also had the opportunity to help my good friends, sister with her Quadruplets. They were a blast, and tunes of work. I couldn't believe how organized Amy and Jerad were. It was amazing! It was nice being able to hold a baby again (Or should I say lots of baby's). And they were beautiful!
And wail all this was going on, I was still recovering form my hand surgery (My hand fills great now). It was stressful to have so much happening all at once, but good at the same time.
All and all the last few weeks were busy but good too, and I loved being surrounded by loving family and friends. I would just like to say to our family, that we love you and miss you!
We love you Grandma, And we will miss you so much!

Teary eyed!

2009-02-20T01:08:00.004-07:00

Today has been one of those days. (teary eyed)
I am having surgery on my other hand tomorrow (For those that don't know, I had carpel tunnel surgery on my right hand in December, and now I am having my left one done tomorrow) and so today I spent most of my day preparing for my surgery, by doing laundry and cleaning. I Packed the kids back packs to spend the night at our good friends house and just getting organize, before I am one handed again. I even went to lunch with a couple of friends that I had not seen in awhile. (It was fun to see them)
The day was pretty busy, but the only thing I could think about all day was my baby girl. I have just been teary eyed all day. Maybe it was because I went with a friend of mine to a Share meeting last night. It is a meeting for bereaved parents. And it made me miss her.
Or maybe it is just because I am nerves for tomorrow, and the last time I had surgery on my hand was just a few weeks after Sharyn left us. I really don't know, but one thing I do know is that I miss her very much today. I Just find myself crying at a drop of the hat. I would love to hold her in my arms, even just for a few minuets and kiss her little cheek.
Maybe it is because I just had this filling something was not quite right today. This evening my aunt (that I have not talked to for a long time) called me up and told me that my Grandma is very sick and they don't know if she will make it much longer. I went strait to the nursing home to see her, and she was just so frail. I have not seen her like this before.
We have not seen her in about a year, not because we have not wanted to but because I really did not know if we should. (It is kinda a long story that I really don't want to get into it.) But all I will say Is I love my Grandma, Aunts, Uncles and cousins very much and want them to know that I miss them and think of them all the time.
When we arrived at the nursing home and went to her room, I was a little surprised to see her like that. Several years ago I had the wonderful opportunity to be with my grandfather (her husband) just before he passed away. And now it is so close for his beloved wife, to return home to him. They really loved each other very much and when Grandpa died, Grandma was crushed. She really has not been the same ever since. They were the sweetest couple, they always held hands and spent lots of quality time together. They were so much in love. I had the wonderful opportunity to live and work with them for many years. It has been some of my most treasured memories.
So tonight I got to kiss my lovely Grandma and talk to her, maybe for the last time. I am glad that I was able to spend a few quality moments with her. I am sure that Grandpa is anxiously awaiting for her to return home. She will soon get the opportunity to hold my darling baby girl and kiss her, and her husband she missed so very much. It makes me comforted to know that my Grandma and Grandpa will be baby sitting our little Angel until we return home to them again.
Maybe I am missing baby Sharyn today because the Vail is so thin and that she is near me during these hard times. That she is with Grandpa waiting for Grandma to return, and Grandpa will take Grandma into his arms and Welcome her home with a loving embrace and tender kiss hello.
I love you Grandma, and will miss you very much. I am exited for you to see Grandpa again, who you have missed so very much. Please give our baby girl a kiss from her mommy and daddy, and tell her we love her, and we miss her. We will miss you very much and will look forward to the day we will meet again.

Our new faces!

2009-02-17T23:35:00.005-07:00

Tonight we were just goofing around on the internet and found this site that you can give your self a make over. It was fun. Here is Sharon and I all dolled up. LOL!
Aren't we pretty? LOL
If you want to play with your look just go to www.dailymakeover.com and have fun!

Valentines Day was so "Sweet!"

2009-02-16T17:43:00.012-07:00

This Valentines day was all about eating and spending Quality time together as a Family. Most years on Valentines day we are in ether Bear Lake, or West Yellowstone snowmobiling. But not this year. We decided that with money being so tight that it would be best to stay home and just enjoy each others company. So that's just what we did. We always have a special dinner for valentines day but we thought it would be fun to do, both dinner and breakfast. We really did have a blast cooking, eating, and playing with each other. I think it was one of my most fun Valentines days. And the kids loved it too! Every Year Grandma Louise gets everyone a new Valentine T-shirt. And this year was no different. It is so hard to find the boys one, so this year Sharon designed one for them. We found this place on the Internet that you can create a custom shirt, and then have it made for you. So since Sharon's degree was in graphic design, why not have her draw something up for the boys. She did a great job.Breakfast was pink (Gluten Free, just for Austin) heart shaped pancakes, and pink milk. Yum!!!
Dinner was heart shaped homemade pizzas, and giant heart shaped cookies, that the kids got to decorate. (And dont worry, Austins pizza and cookies were also gluten free)
And even Grandma Louise and Grandpa Mike joined us for Dinner.
And to end the day on a right note, Grandpa Mike read a bed time story to the kids. We had a great Valentines day!

Hurry up and "Wait!"

2009-02-14T12:43:00.017-07:00

Hurry up and Wait! That was the theme for last night.

Dan and I decided to go out, for Valentines. (I told you I was going to ask Dan take me to Dinner) Sharon volunteer to take the kids so we could go out. Sharon you rock! Thank you so much for all you do, for our family.

I picked Dan up at about 5:30 pm, from work (He works at the airport, in security) and decided to stay in Salt lake for dinner. We went to the Cheesecake Factory, YUM! (Not a smart Idea, the Night before Valentines day, and Friday night) and of course it was crowded. We tried to get there at a decent time so the crowds weren't so bad. I told Dan to be prepared to wait for an hour or so, and not to get to anxious. I really wanted to go there for dinner, so he agreed to Wait. We went in and asked to be put on the list. The lady behind the counter told us not to come back for at least an hour 1/2 and THEN they would give us the little light up thing. "What? How long is the wait?" "About 3 hours" Holly crap! are you kidding? I was so so bummed out. Here we decided to drive clear out to Murry to have dinner, and you tell us we can't even eat until 9:30 Pm! Of course there was no way we were going to wait that long. So we decided to walk around the mall and figure out what we wanted to do instead. Dan insisted we go back and see if we could get in any earlier. (How sweet. He knew I really had looked forward to eating there) We had a movie in Ogden at 10:10 pm so we had to be done with dinner around 9:00 pm. We decided to go back and ask if there was any way we could get in any sooner. They told us it was first come first serve so we just had to wait. Here is that dreaded word again "WAIT!"
I was just about to give up when the waitress said "You can wait here for a bar table, and just sit at it when one comes available. Great! so we sat in line, for the bar tables. The couple in front of us just sat at the bar table, so they gave us there light up thing (I don't know what else to call it. But you know what I'm talking about, right?) and said they only had about 20 minuets to be seated. " how nice!" They said just to tell the waitress, when there table comes avalable, that our name is "Wait." (How ironic!)
Anyway we were thrilled. We had already been there for about 40 min and was very ready to eat. So we waited and waited and waited, and then decided to ask how much longer. Of course it was NOT 20 Min's longer, but 1 hour until the "Wait's" were seated. Ugh! it was 7:45 and we weren't any closer to eating, so we waited in line for the bar tables again. finely at about 8:00 pm there was a seat available. FINELY! We were finely going to eat, and we were starving. Dinner was great, and defiantly worth the wait, and wait, and wait! We had a nice dinner and ended the night with a movie. It was fun even though we hurried up to wait! LOL:) I'm sure there was no correlation with the fact that it was Friday the 13th! Hum?

How thoughtful!

2009-02-06T10:26:00.010-07:00

I was surprised yesterday by a little note left on my front door. Jimmy's floral left a note saying they had dropped by with a delivery for me. I thought "Who would give me flowers?" So I jumped in the car to go get them. I walked in the flower shop and there were several customers in the store. I showed the front desk lady my slip and she said "Are you Sheila?" Of course I said yes. And she smiled and said "Aw! Your the one with the big one" Of course I was confused buy her comment. She hurried to the back and came back with these beautiful flowers. WOW! they were incredible. Who were they from? Of course I snatched them up and felt shocked. When I got out to the car I looked at the card. It was from my wonderful aunt Kathy. (She was the one that I thought of when I realized that I had lost baby Sharyn. She had lost her baby the same way I had lost Sharyn, about 20 years ago). I started to tear up. How thoughtful, and beautiful.
(Kathy and her family live in Colorado, and I miss her). We have so much in common and lots and lots to talk about.
So I called and thanked her, for the amazing flowers. She said "The hardest part for me was about 3 months after I lost my baby, and everyone around me had forgotten I had a her. So I wanted to make sure you know that we have not forgotten, and that we love you and wanted to say we were so sorry".
Can you believe that? She is so amazing, it has been really hard for me to get back to normal. I do fill like Sharyn is being forgotten, not on purpose, but everyone is moving on and I am kinda stuck. So it was so nice to have someone understand how I was filling and be so generous and kind to think of my little family.

Thanks again to all those that have shown your support and love to our family, and Thank you Kathy, they are wonderful!Aren't they beautiful?
Austin wanted me to take his picture. Isn't he so dang cute?

Picture Perfect!

2009-02-03T09:59:00.003-07:00

My wonderful cousin Missy, was so thoughtful and edited some pictures of our little Sharyn. She did a great job. I love any pictures of Sharyn that I can get my hands on. I think they turned out perfect.

Thanks Missy for these beautiful pictures. You're the best!

Girls day out!

2009-01-31T18:08:00.008-07:00

Today was an interesting, but a fun day. My Mom and I went with Sharon (my twin sister) down to Murry, to have her eyes looked at for a possible lasik eye surgery. We thought since we were in Murry, we would try making a girls day out of it. So we thought it would be fun to go to lunch and pick out my mom's granite (for her new kitchen remodel) while we were there. Any way it took forever for them to finely see her (even though she had an appointment), finely when they were done they told her they could schedule her to have surgery today. So she thought why wait, today would be great. But we still had time for lunch before her surgery. We decided to go the the Cheesecake factory. Yum! I have never been there and it was so so good. ( I will probably take Dan there for Valentines Day)

Here is Sharon with her glasses for the last time. We went back after lunch, and her surgery only took about 10 minute. (I am so jealous) She said it was not that bad. (Here she is after we got home with some guards on her eyes so she dose not rub them) We still wanted to do our original plan to go pick out the granite, but by the time we got there it was closed. O well! Maybe next time.
So we started out to just have a girls day out and ended up sitting in a doc. office all day, and going to lunch. Better luck next time.
Even though Sharon is exited to have new eyes, (right now it still hurts, but by Monday she will be filling better and have no glasses, Lucky duck!) It was still a nice day out with the girls.

(Off the subject) Here is my dog Zero, with his new hair cut. Isn't he so much cuter?:)

Hair here, Hair there, Hair every where!

2009-01-19T12:27:00.011-07:00

First, to give an update on my hand. My hand fills great! No more sleepless nights, and frustration when doing my hair, from my hand falling asleep. I love it, and the incision looks good to.

My poor Guys. They have looked so sad these past few months. Ever since all of this craziness has gone on, I have neglected them. I normally take care of there hair cuts, but since baby Sharyn, and then Christmas, and then my hand surgery. I have not had the time, or felt up to helping them cut there hair. Even my poor dog Zero, looks like a hippie. How sad, he can't even see. Sharon says all I need to do is put a tie die bandanna on him, and he would be perfect. (He will get his hair cut next Monday)
Noah has this crazy curl going on in the front, Dan has Serious bed head (that is how his hair grows when it gets long, notice the side) and Austin's hair grows forward and sticks strait up in the back. LOL! I'm sorry.

So yesterday I decided it was time to get my handsome guys back. Noah went first, and then Austin, and then Dan. One buy one I started to recognize my boys. They look fantastic, and so handsome. There is nothing like a new haircut to make you fill better. Noah kept on looking at himself in the mirror saying "Dang! I look good!" He is so funny. And Dan kept showing off his muscles (Sorry lady's, he's mine) with his new hair cut. Really, I'm sure no one wants to see that. Any way they look great, and I'm so glad to see them return. I love my Guys!

The day that changed our lives forever!

2009-01-09T09:14:00.045-07:00

OK, now this is a long one, so grab your a box of tissue and take a seat, your in for a long haul.

Today I decided that I am ready to tell my whole story about baby Sharyn. Its been about 2 months since baby Sharyn has left us. I am sorry I talk all the time about her, and some people might think that I should be filling better about her by now, and some days I am. But for the most part I think of her every second, of every minute, of every day. I have a empty place in my heart and arms that no mater what I do, I can not fill it. I have also had some great days, and have had some wonderful memory's that we shared this Holiday season, but there is still a longing that haunts me ever day. My sister Sharon keeps telling me to write my experiences with this pregnancy. So today I decided would be the perfect day.

Dan and I were so exited to finely be pregnant. We had a hard time getting pregnant and it had been a few years of trying. So to Finley be pregnant was a miracle. I was hoping it would be a girl but did not want to get my hopes up. I was going to be exited ether way. I was sick as normal and happier than ever, everything was going just great.
On my big ultrasound day we decided to take our kids along, because Ryanne was so exited to find out what it was. Ryanne was hoping for a baby sister and the Noah wanted a brother, Austin new the whole time that she was a girl. He kept telling me that I had a baby sister in my tummy. He loved her and would always kiss and hug my tummy. He would always hold up his hands in front of him and say "the baby is hugging me like this. She loves me." And I know she did.
We were shocked to find out that we really were having a girl. I could not believe it, a baby girl! We had her name picked out ever since I was pregnant with Noah. (about 7 years) We called my sister Sharon and told her we were having a Sharyn. She did not get it at first, and was so confused. But after a minuet she finely got it, and was so exited as well. Sharyn Emma was named after some of my most favorite people in the whole world, my sisters Sharon and Emily. I love them both and wanted to honer them with our baby girls name.
Of course my mom went crazy buying everything in pink, with bows and ruffles. I had nothing left from when Ryanne was a baby( she is 9 years old now) and so we had to buy everything new. I never really got into shopping for her, not because I was not thrilled to be having a baby girl. But because I just felt we needed to wait. I had always wanted a new crib set for my baby's, but could never afford one. So when we found out she was a girl, we hit the stores to find the perfect one. I found the cutest crib set, (that to this day still reminds me of her) It is pink, white and pale green, it had lady bugs on it and was perfect.Sharon would ask me all the time if I felt baby Sharyn move that day. And I always would complain that she was just being paranoid.
I never really got exited for her birth day, I always felt nervous about it. I think the lord was preparing me for what was to come. I thought maybe it was because, it was around the holidays and I would possibly miss out on activity's, or because I was not sure how I would handle having a brand new baby again ( its been 4 years since Austin was a baby.) I really was not sure what I was filling. The days were soon approaching and I was getting more and more nervous. Not really for the birth, but for what was to come after.
I loved being pregnant this time. I thought it was our last baby, and that I would not ever fill life inside of me again, so ever moment was precious. I asked our good friend Scott to take some pics, of my belly (not bare, yuck!) and the kids. I had it all planed out, first I was going to get pics with my belly, then when she was 1 week old and then when she was blessed, the family all in white. It was going to be perfect. I planed on getting our first set of pics just before thanksgiving, but Scott thought we should do it just a week after Halloween. I thought well that's a little earlier than I planed but OK, he insisted (it ended up to be a blessing, I truly fill he was inspired to do it then) I had no idea that this would be my only pics of baby Sharyn alive, and our only family pic all together. I will always cherish them. Thank you so much Scott and Cortney for your beautiful work and your inspiration and closeness to our heavenly father. We love you Scott, Stacy and Cortney! You are such wonderful Friends.
(not very many people know, but the kids are holding my belly, so Scott took my belly out and put the pic, he took in the hospital with Dan, Sharyn and I and put it in its place.)
I was about 37 weeks and my doctor was out of town. I was going to my weekly appointment now and had to see a different doc. My appointment on Tuesday was as normal, (except for the doc) baby Sharyn was perfect and I was dilated to about a 1. I remember complain to everyone that she better not come before black Friday, or I would be upset. (We always shop the sales the day after thanksgiving) Thanksgiving was getting close and so was my due date. (I was due the 1st of December)
Like I said before I really never got exited about having her here, and I noticed that. It really frustrated me that I was not getting ready for her to come, and I only had a few weeks left. I had to force myself to have Dan help me put her crib up.
I remember very clearly, Wednesday the 13th of November. My mom and I had gone shopping, when she brought me home, her and I were sitting in the car talking. Sharyn started moving, so my mom felt her and talked to her. That was my moms last time feeling her alive. Later that night I had already gone to bed when Dan came home from work. Every night he would snuggle up to me, to get a chance to feel baby Sharyn move, and that night was no exception. I was very sad that night, and I could not figure out why. I kept crying, and telling Dan that I was afraid for her to come. I was so mad at my self, that I was not exited. I did not understand what I was feeling, all I kept saying is " I don't want her to have a hard life." I did not want her to suffer, with school, with getting hurt, with life itself. I loved her so much and did not want to ever see her in pain. At that time I did not no how profound those feelings really were.
The next day I felt great. I had an appointment at my chiropractor that morning, so I did not sit and wait to count the movements, the doc instructs you to do. (I would normally count them in the morning, before I got out of bed) For the first time, since I found out I was having a girl, I was exited to have her here. I wanted to buy her something cute from me. So I called my mom to come and pick me up, for a girls day out. It was so fun! My mom and I went shopping and to lunch. I was feeling so good and ready for her to finely be here. Later that night I went to my moms house to help cook pumpkin soup for the "craft night"(Sharon, my friend Sheree and my mom planed a surprise baby shower for me on that Saturday. They were serving pumpkin soup, because of the Thanksgiving holiday just around the corner. They told my it was a craft night for our extended family and friends. Of course I believed them.) and was talking to my sister Sharon about my aunt Kathy.
About 20 years ago my aunt was pregnant and call my mom up(my mom is a nurse). She was worried, because she had not felt her baby move for a while. My mom had her come over and gave her some instructions on how to make the baby active. I remember that day very clearly, her baby never did move, and she ended up having a still born birth at about 31 weeks along in her pregnancy. I remember how hard it was on her, it was her 4th baby, she had 3 beautiful boys and this was her little girl. It was devastating to her and her family.
Any way I had mentioned to Sharon, how would I react if something like that happened to me(I think that the lord had inspired me) how would I survive. She was about were I was in my pregnancy and it was devastating. Just after I made that comment to Sharon, it donned on me that I had not felt baby Sharyn move all day. So I mentioned it to my mom, and she had me go lay down on my left side and drink a glass of orange juice. I was very calm, but I still did not fill her move. I had my mom call the doc to see what we should do. The doc told us to head to the hospital just to make shore everything was OK. (Normally I would say "no, the baby is fine. They will just send me home, and I'll be embarrassed." but not this time I said "OK, lets go.") We got to the hospital and they took me right back. I was not nervous at all but my family was. They tried to listen to her heart beat and could not find it. The nurse was getting more and more nervous. Than they went and got the ultrasound. And as soon as she put the ultrasound on my stomach I could see that her heart had stopped. There was nothing just a little body and no movement. The nurse started shaking and left the room to get a doc but I already new the outcome, and It was unreal. I remember thinking, this is just a bad dream, and her heart will start any minute. But that's not what happened.
So I still had to delver her and I was terrified. This is not what was suppose to happen, and especially not to me. My doc was out of town and so there was no comfort there. I was so nervous to see my baby, I was shaking. The nurse kept telling me that when she comes it will be OK ( I was not sure what I was going to see. And we still did not know why she had passed.) It was terrifying. But my labor was not hard at all. I was started about 11pm on Thursday the 13th and had her at 5:20am the 14th of November. Her delivery was my easiest. As I have said in the past she was perfect. There really was nothing to be afraid of and the nurse was right, everything was OK. She was 4lb 12oz and about 18in long. She passed away from the cord being wrapped around her neck. It did turn her beautiful face a shade of purple, from bruising, but that did not mater to us. We still loved her and thought that she was the most beautiful baby we had ever seen.
It was a special time, I will always cherish those few hours we spent with her. My mom, Dan's mom and dad, my grandma and my sister Sharon all got the special opportunity to hold her, kiss her, and just enjoy her for those few precious moments. My grandma Bernice tells me all the time how grateful that she is to have the opportunity to hold our baby girl. And that she will cherish that time spent with her great granddaughter forever.
Although this has been my greatest trial in life, It also has been a blessing. I have come to find many blessings from this experience. I can truly say that I believe in the temple and the atonement, and that we will get to raise our daughter someday. Like a friend of Dan's said "Who better to babysit your baby than Jesus and Heavenly father" (and also Great Grandma Ella) I am no longer afraid of death, for me and my family. I know that I can handle anything that comes my way, that I am a strong women. I definitely cherish my children more, and realize what a blessing they truly are. And am so proud of my husbands strength, and his love for our family. The people that surrounds me are also a blessing, who would have thought, that our family and friends where so wonderful, that they cared so much about our family. Everyone has been so concerned for us and has truly been there when we needed them. I have also met such wonderful people that have had a smiler experience as me, and truly can say "I know what you are going through." I definitely feel more humbled, the other day I had a temple interview with our stake president. And just out of the blue he said( not knowing really what I was going through) "some times we don't under stand what the Lord has in store for us, and we want everything now, but the Lord has his own time and we just need to be patient and believe in him." I started to cry and I think he was a little freaked out. what did he say? But I explained my situation and how he had answered my prays. I wanted to know "why" and "why could I not just raise her here and now" and the stake pres was inspired to answer my questions. I feel like I am being watched over by our Heavenly Father, and He dose answer our prays. I miss her terribly.I love you Sharyn very much and miss you, but I know I will see you again. Love, Mom & Dad

Big boots

2009-01-08T11:52:00.010-07:00

Yesterday I heard the front door open and then close. That is never a good sign, when only Austin and I are at home. So of course I went to investigate. Austin had gone out side, with out a coat and my boots on. He is so cute! I asked him were he was going, and he told me he wanted to ride his bike. (that would have been a huge feat, since the driveway had snow all over it) Of course I told him that he couldn't, because of the snow. He was bummed out, but came back in side. He loves his bike and its been killing him that he cant ride it. I had to take a pic of him with my boots on, he could barely walk in them. When I asked him why he did not put his own boots on, he told be it was because he is getting to big for them. Maybe its time to get him some new ones. I love you Austin "B Bottom"

"DISNEYLAND!"

2009-01-05T09:34:00.016-07:00

My husband is so wonderful, he has been so concerned for me, and has done everything he can to make me happy. After this past months of being so hard and life so sad, Dan and my mom decided I needed something to look foreword to after Christmas, so they planed a trip to Disneyland. Dan would keep the boys for the weekend and do guy stuff (they went to the movies, and to a basketball game, and just hang out with the guys.) and Ryanne, Sharon, my mom, dad and I would catch a plane to Disneyland, the weekend of the New Year. We just got back on Sunday and we had a blast. Ryanne was spoiled (of course, with Grandma and Grandpa around) and I loved every minute of it. My Dad and Mom always pay extra to see Fantasmic in VIP seating. This time they took us, it was great, they served us hot chocolate and all kinds of goodies, and the show was great to. It was a little cold and cloudy, but was so neat to see all the Christmas decorations. We saw a princes show and learned how to be a princes, here's our best princes poses.
Sharon loves to tease Ryanne and here was a perfect opportunity to tease her. We were standing in line for a ride, and Ryanne had something on her nose, Sharon said "Ryanne you have a worm on your nose." Ryanne didn't believe her, so I took a pic of it. She freaked out, all it was was a sequend from her hat she was waring. It was so funny!
I loved the Haunted Mansion decorated in Nightmare Before Christmas theme, that was so amazing, I can't believe how they transform the hole ride. It was cool!
Dan thank you so much for our fun trip, I can't even Begin to tell you what this really meant to me, you are the most thoughtful and loving husband any girl could ask for, you are amazing. I love you so much!
Mom and Dad thank you for the great trip, you definitely started the New Year out just perfect. I love you, and thank you for taking us along. We loved spending the time and making great memory's with you. We love you lots! and lots!

New Year

2009-01-02T19:51:00.005-07:00

Now that the new year has began, my wife and daughter left for Disneyland today.
I hope that they have fun while there gone.I Love My Wife.
I'm Home with the BOYs.

A Wonderful Christmas!

2008-12-31T16:24:00.016-07:00

We had such a fun Christmas!
I know its been awhile since Christmas, but I still wonted to tell you a little about it. We had lots of great memories. And with my hand surgery I have not been able to type, so I'll catch up.
This Christmas...

We had fun party's. (You Can tell Connie was in charge of games) It was hysterical.
Sat on Santa's lap.We got our Christmas PJ's, and stuffed animalsWe had fun opening our giftsChocolate Yum!Dan's new quilt my mom and I made for him.
I got a new camera and camcorder (I was Spoiled!)
We went to grandma's house for breakfast ( Yum!)We even got to have Christmas dinner with John and Shay's family! We love you guys!
On Saturday after Christmas, Sharon and I went to Grandmas house to make maple rings to take to our friends and family. We have made this a tradition to bake and spend "Wonderful" time with Grandma B. We love you Grandma and Grandpa!We had more party's, and played our friends Guitar Hero. That was lots of fun.
We had a Wonderful Christmas, and hope that this next years is even better. We want to wish all of you a Very Merry Christmas (just a little late) and an even Happier New Year! Love you all.

Ouch!

2008-12-21T23:56:00.014-07:00

So, I finely got my carpal tunnel surgery(on my right hand) done on Friday. Ouch! But really it has not been that bad (with lortab:) I've been having problems with my hands for a while, and I was finely tired of them keeping me up at night, not being able to drive, and not being able to do my hair without them falling asleep, so I decided that they need to be fixed. Every one keeps saying "why just before Christmas?" Well when your doc. is hard to get into to see, you take him when ever he is available. Ryanne keeps reassuring that she will take good care of me this Christmas, buy helping me open all my presents:) She is so cute, and she has been such a big help, she even offers to cut up my dinner. Well its hard typing one handed, so Ta! Ta! and if I don't have a chance to wright again before Christmas.

We want to wish you a very Marry Christmas

Here are a few pics from our ward Christmas party, and the kids on Santa's lap. It was a blast!

A Christmas stocking from the heart!

2008-12-15T01:29:00.010-07:00

You might think that I am crazy, to still be up at 4:00 am in the morning (on a school night), but I just had to finish it, and I almost made my goal.
I finished our little Sharyns stocking for Christmas, and I had to do it today. You might ask why is today so important to stay up half the night to finish a stocking? Well Sharyn joined her Heavenly Father a month ago today, the 14th, and I just had to have her stocking finished TODAY.
I have made each one of my family a special stocking for Christmas. My mom made me one when I was a kid and it was so neat to have something homemade just for me. I always looked forward to getting out our stockings at Christmas time, and hanging them up. So I made one for my kids and Dan and I. Well I started Sharyn when I found out she was a girl. I had almost finished it when that devastating night happened a month ago. I did not know what I should do with my almost finished stocking then, I just would hold it and cry. Here I had made something for my baby that I could never give her, and that Santa could never fill, and it was heartbreaking. after a week of it just sitting there needing just a few more charms added to it, I decided I would finish it, so we could remember her, and acknowledge that she is a part of our family. But every time I picked it up to finish it, I just felt like it was not right. I made all my other kids stocking before they were born or shortly there after, and ironically all of my kids stockings match there personality, even though I had not got to really know them yet. And Sharyns just didn't fit her, It bugged me so bad, so finally a week ago I decided I was going to redo it, but I'm not a fast enough cross stitcher to get it done before Christmas, so I asked my mom to help. She is amazing and got it done in just a few days (wow!), and it turned out beautifully!

Her other stocking was a little girl holding an American flag, I loved it, I have waited for so long to have a girl to make it for. But it was a little girl(not a baby) and Sharyn will not ever grow into it, she will always be a sweet little baby to me, and I just could not see this stocking as hers. So I made her stocking with a angel, with no hair and a sweet halo, in baby pink and light lavender. It now reminds me of her, she will always be my little angle baby girl.

(here is Sharyns stocking before I redid it.)

Now I can hang it up with my other children's stockings and feel that they are complete. We decided to ask Santa to still fill her stocking with 3 small gifts, that our kids could each put on her grave, on Christmas day. So come Christmas morning her stocking will still be filled and she will be remembered as a part of our family, and included in our family traditions. Even though today has been hard, and I miss her I found joy in finishing this special gift for our sweet baby Sharyn. We love and miss you Sharyn, Marry Christmas!

Love, Mom and Dad

We got our stocking holders when we were first married, hopeing we would have a family someday. The snow man was picked for our littlest girl, so this is the first Christmas it has come out of the box. I love it!

All our stockings hanging in a row.

12 day of Christmas

2008-12-13T00:24:00.004-07:00

On the twelfth day of Christmas
My angel sent to me,
Twelve bright red leaves.

A box of love.
The gift of spice.
The lifting of burdens.
The gift of scents,
The sweetest warm drink,
A celebration,
FIVE GOLDEN COINS...
Crunch and cream cheese,
The bread of life,
Sweet candy canes,
And her Love's light for all to see.

And she shall bring forth a son,
and thou shalt call his name Jesus:
for he shall save his people.
Matthew 10:40

Thank you so much for these wonderful twelve days of Christmas. It has made this time of year so special to our family, and it has helped us know the true meaning of Christmas. We will cherish this nativity scene for the rest of our lives.This is the Nativity scene that we have received this year from the twelve days of Christmas.

11th day of Christmas

2008-12-12T01:11:00.004-07:00

On the eleventh day of Christmas
My angle sent to me;
A box of love.

The gift of spice.
The lifting of burdens.
The gift of scents,
The sweetest warm drink,
A celebration,
FIVE GOLDEN COINS...
Crunch and cream cheese,
The bread of life,
Sweet candy canes,
And her Love's light for all to see.

A new commandment I give unto you,
that ye love one another: as I have loved you
that ye also love one another.
John 13:34

With all the love that we have received how can we not love one another? From friends and family that are supporting us through this hard time in our lives, and in this time of year. This is the time of year for giving, and we are so thankful for all that we have received in these past few weeks. Thank you all so much.

A little angle

2008-12-11T10:13:00.004-07:00

The other day I got a phone call I did not expect. It was a good friend I had not talked to for a while. Ryan sang so beautifully "I am a child of God" at Sharyns funeral, and I had not talked to him in a long time before that. He called and said he had something to bring to us. I was not home but Dan got to visit with him for awhile. He had brought a gift that his Friend from school had given him, to give to me. The card read...
Sheila,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter, Sharyn. I too have lost a child, a son, Everett at 30 weeks. I have an angel that I wear to remind me that he is always with me. I wanted to give you this angel so that you may know that Sharyn will always be with you.
-fellow mother of an Angel- Brooke
I can't believe how nice she was, to gave a complete stranger such a wonderful gift. I defiantly love the necklace charm, it is so beautiful.
I Just want every one to know how much your love and support has really helped us. The phone calls, and the gifts, the time spent with me so I don't have to spend the day alone, the dinners so I don't have to think about cooking, the offers to watch Austin, taking me Christmas shopping so I can get out of the house, and just coming over to talk. I just can't express the love I have for all of you. Before this had happened to our family, I really did not know how much people cared about us. But now I feel that out of this darkness something good has come from all this, and it is knowing the love that surrounds us. And knowing the blessings we really do have in our lives. That Heavenly Father is really watching over us and he is taking care of our family. He is also surrounding us with such wonderful people. We have really felt the love and support of a wonderful family. We also have so many good friends that we love, that makes moments like this bearable, and life sweeter. And I know that our baby Sharyn is very happy to see our family surrounded with so much love. Thank you all so much, for all your prayers, loving gifts and support. And thank you for making this Christmas season special, even if we are sad right now, and I cry all the time, we will still be able to look back and feel like this Christmas turned out wonderful.

10th day of Christmas

2008-12-11T01:26:00.006-07:00

On the tenth day of Christmas
My angle sent to me,
The gift of spice.

The lifting of burdens.
The gift of scents,
The sweetest warm drink,
A celebration,
FIVE GOLDEN COINS...
Crunch and cream cheese,
The bread of life,
Sweet candy canes,
And her Love's light for all to see.

Experience all that Christmas has to offer.
Hear Christmas
See Christmas
Taste Christmas
Feel Christmas
Smell Christmas
Enjoy Christmas

We are so blessed for the friends and family that we have. :)

9th day of Christmas!

2008-12-09T22:30:00.002-07:00

On the ninth day of Christmas
My angel sent to me;
The lifting of burdens.

The gift of scents,
The sweetest warm drink,
A celebration,
FIVE GOLDEN COINS...
Crunch and cream cheese,
The bread of life,
Sweet candy canes,
And her Love's light for all to see.

Be comforted knowing that the Lord knows who you are

and he loves you. He sorrows and cries with you. Lean on him.
GOD BLESS YOU!!!

8th day of Christmas

2008-12-09T01:23:00.011-07:00

On the eighth day of Christmas
My angle sent to me,
The gift of scents

The sweetest warm drink
A celebration.
FIVE GOLDEN COINS...
Crunch and cream cheese,
The bread of life,
Sweet candy canes,
And her Love's light for all to see.

(Here was a comment attached to the story. It touched me and made me cry.)

"Your precious angel is always near to you. She is watching over you and waiting for you in heaven. Some days you will feel her near and may even smell her fragrance. Cherish these times."

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son,
that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16

7th day of Christmas!

2008-12-07T21:54:00.003-07:00

On the seventh day of Christmas
My angel sent to me;
The sweetest warm drink

A celebration.
FIVE GOLDEN COINS...
Crunch and cream cheese,
The bread of life,
Sweet candy canes,
And her Love's light for all to see.

Peace on Earth
Goodwill Towards Men

"I am the good shepherd and know my sheep,
and am known of mine.
And I lay down my life for the sheep"
John 10:14-15

6th day of Christmas!

2008-12-06T21:12:00.003-07:00

On the sixth day of Christmas
My angel sent to me;
A celebration.

FIVE GOLDEN COINS...
Crunch and cream cheese,
The bread of life,
Sweet candy canes,
And her Love's light for all to see.

And Jesus, when he had found a young ass,
sat thereon: as it is written.
Behold the king cometh, sitting on the ass's colt.
John 12:14-15

5th day of Christmas!

2008-12-05T23:54:00.008-07:00

On the fifth day of Christmas
My angel sent to me;
FIVE GOLDEN COINS... (and a few more.)

Crunch and cream cheese,
The bread of life,
Sweet candy canes,
And her Love's light for all to see.

The best gifts are tied
with heart strings.

Children are pure gold!
And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them.
But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not; for thus is the kingdom of heaven.
Verily I say unto you, whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of god as a little child; he shall not enter therein.
And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.
Mark 10:13-16

I just want who ever is giving these wonderful gifts to know, that we are grateful for all that you have done to brighten this Christmas season. Thank you so much, we truly get exited to see what is to come. (Ryanne is convinced that it's Elves.)

4th day of Christmas!

2008-12-04T22:56:00.003-07:00

On the Fourth day of Christmas
my angel sent to me;
Crunch and cream cheese,

The bread of life,
Sweet candy canes,
And her Love's light for all to see.

Verily I say unto you, inasmuch
as ye have done it unto one of
the least of these my brethren,
ye have done it unto me.
Matthew 25:40

3rd day of Christmas

2008-12-03T18:06:00.004-07:00

On the third day of Christmas
My angel sent to me;
The bread of life

Sweet candy canes,
Her love's light for all to see.

And Jesus said unto them,
I am the bread of life;
he that cometh to me shall not hunger;
and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.
John 6:35

A light for Christmas

2008-12-03T17:13:00.005-07:00

Dan the kids and I decided to decorate Sharyn's grave for Christmas. We still don't have a grave marker yet. We wanted to put something on her grave so that we would know were she was. Her grave is close to the entrance. We thought a light would be nice, so that when we drove buy at night, you could see her. We decorated the light with a small wreath, that I made with pink, silver, and white decorations. I think it turned out cute, and the kids loved putting something nice on her grave. Maybe this will be a new tradition. I hope that with each passing day, things will get easier. But right now all I think about is my sweet baby girl, and how I miss her.

2nd day of Christmas

2008-12-02T21:07:00.007-07:00

On the second day of Christmas
My angel sent to me;
Sweet candy canes,

and her loves light for all to see.

"And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the
shepherds said one to another, Let us go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing
which is come to pass, which the Lord made known unto us."
Luke 2:15

12 days of Christmas surprise!

2008-12-01T21:18:00.003-07:00

We had a surprise today at our door. Some one had left us a little note and a gift. The note read...

The 12 days of Christmas, seems to be a tradition,
To folks everywhere, and in every condition.
The familiar pear tree, with a partridge within,
The 12 drummers drumming, rat-a-tat, tin tin.
But this Christmas season unlike all the rest,
Has 12 special days of which you are the guest.
Each day you will receive a gift just for you,
Gifts that are different than what you're used to.
But we feel surely and without a doubt,
That these gifts are exactly what Christmas is about.
On the next few days, a gift will be coming,
So no cheating now. Don't peek at the person that's running.
Your friends will be coming, each one by one,
And will continue until all twelve days are done.

From our houses to yours, we send Christmas cheer,
And hope for a joyous and happier new year!

On the first day of Christmas,
My angel sent to me;

Her Love's light for all to see.

"Let your light so shine"

I am not sure who is sending these wonderful gifts, but who ever you are, I just want to say thank you so much! This surprise is so fun, I look forward to see whats to come. I definitely feel loved. I don't know what I would do if I did not have such wonderful people surrounding me during these hard times. I don't know how to thank you, our friends and family, enough for all the love and support that has been given to our family these past few weeks. I was worried that this Christmas season would be very hard, but so far I feel like there is something bright to look forward to. Thank you again.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-30T12:59:00.015-07:00

Thanksgiving dinner yum! The kids and Dan really enjoyed the day. Come to think of it for the most part I did to. We had lots to eat, and I really enjoyed the company. Ryanne had to have her accessory's, with her orange feather boa, and handbag.

Pie yum!

Sharon brought her Friend Rachel along, because her family is away for the holidays. So she will be spending the holidays with us.

We also went bowling with the family. Noah was amazing, he got a 100 points with out using the bumpers (very much). He was so proud of his self. He says "its because I practiced on the wii." I think he is right.

John and Shays family came over that night to visit. We had Turkey sandwitches and salad. It was good to see them.

I feel thanksgiving went well. It has been hard to be exited for the holidays this year, but I was presently surprised how comforting it was to calibrate thanksgiving. To realize all my blessings and to give thanks for them.

I am thankful for my 4 beautiful children, and the blessings they bring to my life. Although Sharyn is not here with us right now, I still feel blessed to have her apart of our family.

I am thankful to have a wonderful husband who loves, and takes care of us. He is a great father and husband, I love all he dose for our family.

I am thankful for all my Friends and family that surrounds us. I am thankful for all they do for our family, the support they bring is such a blessing.

I am thankful for my Heavenly Father who watches over us, loves us, and comforts us in these hard times. And for the gospel, so our family can be together one day.

I could go on and on about all the things that I am thankful for. We are truly blessed!

Is this really happening

2008-11-29T23:24:00.008-07:00

The past two weeks has gone on forever. I look back and can't believe this it is still happening to us. Is Sharyn really gone, am I really not pregnant any more, this is all serial. We went Christmas shopping on black Friday, and I think I saw more baby girls, and pregnant moms than I have ever seen. I so desperately want that to be me, but my body has completely erased the fact that I was even pregnant, just two weeks ago. My mom keeps saying that it's a blessing( for my body to be back to normal.) But I don't feel like it is because, I feel like she is getting erased. I keep looking at her pictures morning and night, so that I make sure that she was real and that I am not going crazy, that she really did exist.
I love her so much, and I know that she knows who her parents are, and she loves us to. And that she is in a better place. And I know that Heavenly Father loves us very much, and that he is looking out for us as well. I know that if there was not a grater plan, that he would have loved for us to raise our baby daughter here on the earth. And that he hates to see us suffer. I know in time I will find out why, and that I will be amazed how blessed we were from this trial. And I know that one day I will see her, and hold her and be able to watch her grow. I look forward to that day.