The past two weeks has gone on forever. I look back and can't believe this it is still happening to us. Is Sharyn really gone, am I really not pregnant any more, this is all serial. We went Christmas shopping on black Friday, and I think I saw more baby girls, and pregnant moms than I have ever seen. I so desperately want that to be me, but my body has completely erased the fact that I was even pregnant, just two weeks ago. My mom keeps saying that it's a blessing( for my body to be back to normal.) But I don't feel like it is because, I feel like she is getting erased. I keep looking at her pictures morning and night, so that I make sure that she was real and that I am not going crazy, that she really did exist.
I love her so much, and I know that she knows who her parents are, and she loves us to. And that she is in a better place. And I know that Heavenly Father loves us very much, and that he is looking out for us as well. I know that if there was not a grater plan, that he would have loved for us to raise our baby daughter here on the earth. And that he hates to see us suffer. I know in time I will find out why, and that I will be amazed how blessed we were from this trial. And I know that one day I will see her, and hold her and be able to watch her grow. I look forward to that day.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
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Hello Dan and Sheila,
I was so touched by the Christmas poem you shared with me, it is comforting to know that our baby girls are safe with Christ. You daughter is beautiful, and reading your blog just makes my heart ache for you. It's comforting to know that we will see our babies again, but difficult to not have them with us now. I hope that you will be able to find comfort this Christmas, and know that I am thinking about you.
Love, Rylie Martin
I would love to talk to you more. I'll understand if you don't want to. It took me a while before I was ready to talk to others about our loss.
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