A special gift for our little girl!

It is finely here. Sharyn's headstone.The other day we were at a family party and I got a text message from my sister Sharon, that had baby Sharyn's headstone on it and the caption "It's all paid for" on it. "What?" I said, I did not get it, and then I started balling. I couldn't believe it, our baby girl will finely have her headstone to honer her and so we will be able to show her how much we love her.
Dan and I only could afford to pay for half of it and we had to save up for the rest. I was stressed that it was getting so late in the summer and that we were not going to be able to get the rest paid for before the ground was too frozen to be able to set it. I was so sad that I could not go and put flowers on Sharyn's grave and just find her. I had kind of lost track of were her grave was and it really bothered me.
I guess my mom and Sharon and my Grandma Bernice decided awhile ago that they were going to surprise me and pay off the remainder balance of her headstone for us. They wanted to wait until it was placed before the told me and just take me over to her grave site to show me, but they could tell I was getting really anxious to get it paid off and that I probably could not wait that long (They were right, I was going nuts, trying to figure out how we were going to pay off the rest) So after Sharon, my mom and Grandma payed it off they sent me the e-mail. They just had got back, and so they saw my reaction, I balled and balled. They got the reaction that they had expected. Everyone at the party was shocked that I was crying and asked what was wrong. I told them what they had done and so all of us were teary eyed.
I am so so so happy I can't even tell you. I called my grandma and told her how much it meant to me and balled again on the Phone. I just can't even tell them how much this truly meant to me and my family.
The other day we went and put flowers on her new little headstone and showed the kids it. They loved it and were so exited to finely see it. We are so happy!I just wanted to say again, THANK YOU! I love you Mom, Sharon and Grandma. I think this was the most special gift that you could give our little family and it will always mean the world to us. We love you!
And we love you so much Sharyn, I can't wait to hold you in my arms and give you a little kiss.
Love, Mommy!

Austin "You are getting so BIG!"

We finished the summer with our last birthday. Austin just turned a BIG 5 years old, and he is so happy to be a year older. It has been hard for him to see his brother and sister have there birthdays before him and he still had to wait for his. I was going through some of his baby pics and found these. Isn't he so dang cute? I cant believe how fast he has grown up.Austin is such a fun boy, and I mean "all boy." He loves anything that has to do with engines, like cars, trucks, airplanes, etc. Anything that he can make noises with or drive, is his thing. He also loves "Eggo go" (Go Diego Go). He is always busy and talks your ear off. He loves his big brother and wants to do everything he is doing (Of course he is as big as Noah in his mind) and can't wait to be as big as him. He loves to wrestle and ruff house. He also is such a big helper, and every time I need him to help around the house he is right there saying "Can I help?"

We had so much fun on his big day. My Aunt told me about this fun splash pad behind Ogden Athletic Club. It was so fun (and it was free:) the kids loved it and it made Austins Birthday even more special. After we came home and made cupcakes (Austin was so exited to help make his own cupcakes, he loved liking the bowl) We went up to Grandma Louise's house and did a little more swimming, ate good food and opened presents. It was such a fun day and I think Austin will remember his 5Th birthday for a long time.
I love you so much My little "Stitch" Austin.

What am I suppose to learn from all of this?

"What am I suppose to learn from all of this?" This is my new question that I ask Heavenly Father these days. Not that I don't trust him, but what am I suppose to be learning from all that is happening lately.
"Why you ask?" "Why am I asking these questions?" Well this pregnancy has been a crazy roller coaster and also my life has been as well. These past few months have been so so uncomfortable. We have made some scary, but great changes in our living situation, and that has me all kinds of uncomfortable. We have recently bought our home, that we have been sharing with my sister Sharon. That sounds like a good thing right? Well it is a great thing but we were just not quite ready to take on the house payments all on our own. We still needed a few years to get some bills paid off. But Sharon has been out of work for a long time and has gone back to school. She just doesn't have the money anymore to stay here with us, so she is moving home. We had two choices, refinance our home or sell it. We were able to refinance it so it is now in our budget. Great! right? well it is great but now we have to put the stars in and take the kitchen out in the basement so we can make room for the boys to be downstairs and all this has to be done before the new baby comes, which is stressing me out. Like I don't have enough to stress about. I am looking forward to having the house to our selves, but I also am going to miss Sharon around and all she does to help our family out. We will miss you lots and lots Sharon!
Now on to this pregnancy. I can't tell you how I am such a basket case with this pregnancy. First I found out we were pregnant again. Which was wonderful and scary news. It was such a miracle, because with all my other children we had to have help or tried for several years. And this baby came as a surprise. Then in just the first few months I started bleeding. That was so scary! I thought "I can't do this again". Every thing ended up OK but it put me in a tense mood with this baby. I had such mixed emotions. If this baby was a boy, I was going to be so mad. Not that I would not love another boy, but that I didn't have a baby girl for Ryanne. She was so exited to have a baby sister and to not have one was so sad. Than we found out that we were having a little girl. And my emotions went crazy again. What! A girl! I was shocked I was convinced that I was having a boy. Now I was even more terrified. NO! I was not going to get attached to this baby until she was here. Ya right! I love this little girl so much already. So everyone was asking what are you going to name her? I did not want to name her yet, because than I would love her even more. But my kids would talk about her all of the time and wanted to know what to call her. Finely Dan and I decided. Her name is "Ambree Sheila Winterbottom" actually it felt so good to finely giver her a name. She deserves having us name her and for us to be existed for her.
Now she has a name and we love her so much, what am I going to do if something goes wrong? So about a week ago I find out that I have Gestational Diabetes. Great! Isn't this pregnancy hard enough? I am only 26 weeks and I already fill like I am 35 weeks along. My hips hurt and I can't sleep at night. What am I going to do now? So they gave me a new diet to fallow (Which has not been that bad) and all seems to be going well, until I notice that Baby Ambree is not moving as much as she has been before. Do I call the doc. and bug him? Am I just being paranoid? So I decide to call the doc. just to make sure everything is going OK. And everything is going just fine. The baby is just under detox (I guess that is how you would describe it) She has had lots of sugar because of my diabetes, so she is just coming off of all of that. She is just a little sleepy lately. Today I finely fill her moving a lot more than I have in awhile, so that makes me fill a hole lot better.
Any way basically I am a nervous wreck all the time and can't really seem to enjoy this pregnancy at all. I just want Ambree here so bad I can hardly stand it and it tortures me to think I have 2 months to go. I hope I can be strong (Well I know that I can be strong, maybe just not happy about it) I just need to thank Heavenly Father for the blessings that I have, and ask again "What am I suppose to learn from all of this so it dose not happen again". Maybe it is to be patient, and maybe it is to trust in Him. What ever it is, I hope I learn it fast so that I can be sane again. I am ready to be back to normal.
Sorry about the venting just needed to get it out.

Big Day!

It is a little late but I had to write on how I am so proud of my son, Noah.
On August the 1st, Noah was baptized a member of the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints, and I am so happy for him. He was beaming all day, and could not wait to be baptized. He loved having all his friends and family there to support him in this great step in life.
The day went just perfect! Before we left for the church Noah opened a gift from Dan and I, to help him remember this special day. We gave him a baptism towel and a tie tack that he could ware to remember the promises that he made. He loved it and wanted to were the tie tack all day.
I love this picture of my two guys all dressed in white. They looked so handsome.
And this is Noah in his new suit, Wow! he looked so sharp. His grandpa Mike gave a talk about receiving the Holy Ghost. He gave Noah a little white box to help him remember that the Holy Ghost was a wonderful "gift" given to us by our Heavenly Father. Thanks Grandpa, you gave such a great talk it was perfect.
The day was wonderful, and I just wanted to say how proud I am of you Noah. I love you and am so glad that you have made such great choice and I know that Our Heavenly Father is so proud of you and he loves you very much.
I LOVE YOU NOAH!